Cult of CthuLynny

Starting over...

2010-06-17T16:09:00.000-05:00

I figured Id post quickly about why Ive been gone. Life has hadother plans for me. Nasty ones. My marriage is over....Ive been with the man sinceI was 18 years old, and I am sick of hearing howworthlessI am. Fuck him, my best aint good enough for him, it will be for me.

So yeah starting overcompletely. no job, no money, no car...

R.I.P. Dio

2010-05-17T10:39:00.000-05:00

Bleeding for the dancer Ronnie...

May you rock on with the other passed legends

Me Vs Home Acrylics Failure? Oh yes.

2010-05-02T15:09:00.000-05:00

Yesterday as I was wandering about the walgreens makeup area, I spoted the Sinful colors polishes were on sale. I saw a gorgeous flat baby pink and an uber pretty seafoam green. I had visions in my head of baby pink nails with black tips...then I spotted these adorable nail stickers with bats and cutesy skulls....and envisioned my nails with those too. The I looked down and realised....I have no nails. I keep them short cause theyre thin and break alot. and theyre sharp....like slice myself open sharp.

Thats when I spotted the do your own acrylic nails kit! I figured....heck Ive watched the little ladies do my nails like 4 times....cant be that hard eh?

*shakes head*

There is a reason you pay to have your nails done.

First off...finding nails that fit my fingers was insanely hard. Apparently my fingers are weird sizes. Then the glue...I managed to glue the first nail on no problem...aside from the fact that my finger was glued to the nail I had glued to my finger. Freeing my finger also pulled the nail loose from the finger it was intended for...and destroyed the nail. GAH. So I roughed up my nail again and found a new nail and glued it on. Repate this scene another 15 times....but also add in the part where the glue stopped working and nothing would stick to my nails.

It took me 2 hours to glue nails to my hands.

The acrylic part...it started out easy enough. Till I realized it was insanely difficult to wipe off excess acrylic that may have been painted onto your finger because you cant use your left hand worth shit...and I may have been high as hell on the fumes.

Finally all the acrylic is on...and discover that my fingers are encased in the shit. I hunt down my neato dremal and realize...my husband "put it away" last time. Meaning...the battery pack is nowhere to be found in my house or garage. *sniffles*

I spent another 3 hours trying to file away the extra acrylic. My cuticles are inflamed thanks to ruining both emery boards I had and needed to switch to actual sandpaper leftover from my last project. I gave up aometime in the early morning hours, nails smooth....but uh not looking right at all. Dan comes back from the field tonight at midnight and hopefully he will know where the elusive dremal battery is so I can grind these down to the right shape(like fingernail shape, not mutant shape)

Pictures later.

Haus of Gloi: Continued and a New family Addition

2010-04-28T13:21:00.000-05:00

So my third order from Haus of Gloi arrived yesterday and I happily tore into it at the bus stop. I was most excited to get my paws on Tepes(
• Hard worn leather, sweet hay, black tobacco absolute, forest moss, cold fir balsam and blood cedar met with bergamot and wild sage.) along with my dear beloved Honey Tree (the honey scent is MUCH stronger in lotion and perfume form, while the smoke hint takes a back seat....its the opposite for me in the soap and scrub form)

But to me....the surprise winner was Erzsebet (• Vain lashings of blackcurrant berries, stephanotis, Hungarian rose, black musk attar, long forgotten incense burnings and a cold breath of blue yarrow.) Honestly I ordered the sample because it went along with Tepes...Honestly...it sounded nice but nothing to jump on. I opened the little vial and was immediately turned off by the yarrow that invaded my nostrils. My friend was a foot away from me though...she flipped out and demanded I buy more of the stuff because as she put it "it smells just like you would in my head" The immediate yarrow fades quickly after its applied, the whole scent changes into a soft lingering romantic smell that just works. Its floral..which Im generally not fond of, but in an old way. Like finding a sachet of tearoses in your Grandmother's hopechest. Matter of fact....that is exactly what it reminds me of.... My Great Grandmother's hopechest...antique lace, old perfume, long lost youth...roses from an old lover... It is not a young or youthful scent by any means, but I love it. and its limited edition....so tomorrow Im ordering more and then begging them to keep carrying it. It works wonderfully over the leftover honey tree soap smell after a shower too....le sigh.

Tepes....now Tepes is a whole other story...it sounded amazing in my head. It is a very strong scent, and Ive been so drawn to Erzsebet that I havent actually worn Tepes. In the vial is smells like a fall day in upstate maine. It smells cold, and like burning leaves, like people splitting wood and like the inside of a wood cabin. My friend also confirmed the northeast fall day smell...shes from Massachuesetts so we both know the scent well...I will probably not wear it, but I will definitely be using it in my oil warmer to perfume my house.

Also...Im sad as Honey Tree soap isnt available at the moment and Ive worn my bar down to a sliver.....what will I do???

Now that Gloi is out of the way...onto something else.

Meet Creepy Von Doom-BoneCrusher Wubblekins the Zombie Smasher

I have been dying to get a big dog for awhile now. My husband has Cthulhu, our evil Boston Terrier/Chihuahua mix rescue pup that is completely retarded and I believe...an incarnate of Cthulhu himself, as he drives me to insanity on a daily basis...but I have nothing to cuddle aside from babies....and they ask for way too much sometimes heh

I started researching Mastiff breeds, and when I took one look at the gorgeous italian Neapolitan Mastiffs and read their pros and cons....I had to have one. I generally dont go to breeders, I searched hard on petfinder.com for a rescue mastiff and came up empty handed. For months Ive been trying to find a NeaMasti locally that wasnt 1500$ and the other day....the other day I found a gorgeous little girl and my husband saw her markings (similar to his dearest Cthulhu) and decided we ought to message the breeders. Long story short...we can take her home around mid may and I am smitten! Health Guarantees, half housebroken, raised with small children and other smaller dogs.....she is everything I have hoped for. NeaMastis are innate guard dogs, but gentle. They dont bite without reason, they are smart, easy to train and are lazy as heck. Oh yes....LAZY. She might top out around 175 pounds and be taller than both my boys....but she will lay around the house and not jump onto stuff or require a massive yard. Two walks a day and shes good. Huzzah! I cant wait to get her. I plan to paint her toenails baby pink, and her collar and lead will match and she will be nuggled and cuddled and wubbled and I shall squish her face with my nose!

Haus of Gloi...overdue review

2010-04-23T16:40:00.000-05:00

So back a few months ago when I first heard of Haus of Gloi, I had made two orders and promptly lost the whole shit and shebang. I found them a couple days ago and have been sniffing and such..and and and...ok Ill review first and then admit to my new addiction.

First off let me say that I am very obsessed with smells. My nose is sensitive and very picky. VERY PICKY. I rarely wear perfumes or lotions outside of a very few that I have used for years because in general...I dont like much. I guess what I am saying is that once I find something I like...I stock up on it because it generally gets discontinued and pisses me off. (bath and body Im looking at you...discontinuing my beloved plumeria!)

Anyway...when I ordered they had a few perfume oils, cold pressed soaps and something called a "sugar creme" which didnt explain much. Its a scrub apparently. (I just returned to their etsy shop and now everything is explained muuuuuch better)

The first two orders I purchased Sugar Creme samples in

Absinthe:
Hauntingly herbal. Wormwood and anise swim in a creamy green sea of lemon balm and soft glowing mints. A hefty lump of sugar and the tiniest drop of suggestive deep green moss.

Twice is Nice:Twice is Nice - Sweetest offerings of opulence! Buttery sugar cookie, with shavings of creamy coconut and topped with toasted almond slivers!

MoonDog:Solar storms erupt: pure cracked coconut, dry sandalwood heated with Indonesian nutmeg and a Singapore clove.

HoneyTree:Quite rich! Right from the bee hive honey, amplified by seductive essence of resinous vanilla, darkened by a passing waft of mild rare wood smoke.

Depravity:Description
Depravity - A bewitching ladies boudoir! Pure corruption: clove, nutmeg lurk amongst the sweetest offerings of coconut, on a bed of rich golden amber, laden with dustings of sandalwood and spilled wine.

Satyr:Absolutely fiendish creature! And quite frolicsome: Italian blood orange drizzled with blackened vanilla.

Lavender Sugar:Straight lavender and a heaping spoonful of pure muscadovo sugar. Soft and sweet!

Vice:
Steam billows rolling off a vessel of fresh made Turkish coffee, marshmallow goo tainted by graham cracker crumbs, toasted hazelnuts and blanketed in black chocolate.

Apothecary:Ah, reminiscent of old books, bubbling concoctions, herbs and creaking floor boards! A pure essential oil blend of: Lemongrass, rosemary, atlas cedarwood, sweet basil, lavender and the tiniest drop of vetiver.

Aduwa:Sweet, hot, creamed ginger over a thick benzoin, splashed with coconut milk and a solid heart of fairly traded organic coffee grounds. Delicious.

Troika:A trinity of soft milks, almond, oat and coconut, lashed with sweet agave nectar and the ethereal scent of clean white.

Now....all smelled good, but as always most are simply not ones that I would want to smell like.

However...Honey Tree....Honey Tree triggered a strong emotional response. It smells faintly like Nag Champ to me...and reminds me very much of my time living at Francisco Studios in Houston. It sort of smells like the floor I lived on...full of hippies and arty kids and we all squatted there despite the zoning laws stating we should not be. It was a happy and care free time for me. I worked and had fun and partied and made art and was a free creature and did as I pleased. Its sweet, but not too sweet. Its mysterious and seductive and works amazingly with my body chemistry. I also bought Honey Tree asa cold pressed soap and I love that too. It leaves me feeling clean, but not dryed out. It has also been clearing up my body acne and my face as well, which effing rocks! It totally zaps my greasyghoulies without leaving me dry. Even my preggo neighbor came up to me the other day and told me how amazing I smelled hah...its gotta be good LOL.

Anyway today I decided I needed more Honey Tree in my life and so I went to the Haus of Gloi site and discovered they now have perfume oil and lotion samples! Sweet! I ordered the lotion and perfume sample of Honey Tree annnnnnnd I know I will be ordering more soap and full sized perfume and lotion come pay day. But I also ordered two other perfume samples...

Ezsebet Vampire:Vain lashings of blackcurrant berries, stephanotis, Hungarian rose, black musk attar, long forgotten incense burnings and a cold breath of blue yarrow.

Tepes Vampire:Hard worn leather, sweet hay, black tobacco absolute, forest moss, cold fir balsam and blood cedar met with bergamot and wild sage.

Both sound amazing to me, I love scents that are a bit off the beaten track, I love the smell of leather and tobacco and moss. I cant wait to get them in!

I should also mention how much I love the Gloi packaging, the labels are gorgeous, the sample sizes are generous and well priced, the shipping is always inexpensive and quick. The jars and soaps come wrapped in red tissue paper and I love their little thank you note with the pirate looking ship on it. I can definitely say that I am very pleased with Gloi and plan to spend much monies especially on their Honey Tree. Might as well call them my crack dealer now...

Im so glad I found that box hehehe

I know everyone and their grandma has reviewed Gloi, but if you havent had a chance to get your mitts on their yummy goodness....you can order from them at http://www.etsy.com/shop/gloilocksandbody

Its the little things in life...

2010-04-12T17:27:00.000-05:00

Oh life! You sure know how to cheer me up!

I was sitting on my front porch, chatting with my Mom on the phone...when I got to watch the neighbor's buddy in a massive truck back out....taking out the front end of the neighbor's car. I should say that this truck has gouged out the front of my yard many a time, turning it into a mudhole. But yeah...he took out the guy's front end and didnt bother to tell him. So I got to!

I should mention that this neighbor has been told repeatedly to not allow his friends park on both sides of the street many many times by housing because you cant get through...(if there was a fire or something...yeah) but my oh my was that a treat!

Red hair for the WIN...and How to NOT dye your face when you go unnatural

2010-04-12T13:10:00.000-05:00

Wowza, two posts in one day...Im on fire yall!

err...yeah.

Ok so After I bought that amazing wig, pretty much everyone and their grandma felt the need to tell me that I ought to dye my hair red...cause it looked sooooo awesome. I resisted at first "but all my hair pieces are black based!!" and "But uh my hair is BLACK...shit wont work!"

But eventually I realized that the color was rather bad ass, and since its coming into the hellacious summer months....a wig would cause mass scalp sweat. Yum!

Now when I was pregnant with warrick, I had an urge to go from black to red or maybe pink...and used a dye stripper. and fried my hair to the point that I had to cut off 6 inches. and it didnt take the fucking black out! Back in the day I used to use Born Blonde Maxi to go from black to blonde, so I picked up that, and SPLAT! in luscious raspberries as it was the only dye I knew to stay for any length of time, and the color matched what I wanted... I bleached and it made my roots blonnnnde then reddish and orangish and left the black a subtler shade of brown. I threw the red over it and it was pretty decent. It had been a month and my roots were getting all "heeeeey" so I grabbed more of the born blonde maxi, and the splat and carefully bleached only my roots, and the top layer of black, leaving some around my face (because I like color variance yo) and yeah...I damaged some of my hair, but not bad bad. Nothing some extra conditioner wont fix. Also...I discovered a new trick to dying the baby hairs around my face without dying my fucking face....

Anyone who has every dyed their hair an odd color...knows what Im talkin about. The first time I dyed my hair blue(like 10 years ago), I dyed most of my face AND half my back. NOT COOL. Well...I realized my little mascara/eyelash comb was useless in my makeup kit, but fabulous for hair!

Tada!! I was so fucking proud of myself.

Other tips?
1. with colors that do NOT require developer (splat, manic panic, raw etc) the stuff you dont have to add anything to to work...are basically stains. They say 10 mins, or 30 mins...but seriously...I leave them in until they dry. DO NOT DO THAT WITH HAIR DYE THAT REQUIRES DEVELOPER....but hair dye that goes from the bottle to your head...works best f you apply it to clean dry hair....and leave in until that shits hardens into a hair helmet. When you rinse it out, it wont stain your tub as badly, and to me it lasts longer and is far more vibrant.

2. take your favorite conditioner and squirt it into the leftover dye. mix it up and use that to condition your hair...it helps it last longer.

3. Hair glossers...use the clear glossers to seal in fresh color.

4. Shampoo as little as possible. You rinse some out with each shampoo so..yeah.

Anyway...

Its a bit darker, but its being backlit...Boo!

Last tip....DO NOT DYE YOUR EYEBROWS. You will dye your face and fucking blind yourself. Find a matte eyeshadow that matches it as best as possible and use that for brow powder. It helps the unnatural color look more natural and the entire look more finished rather than a zany gothy emo teen who dyes their hair to piss people off. sooooooo. yeah. Dye away my friends.

Tequila Sunrise, and Dreads

2010-04-12T09:55:00.000-05:00

Ok...making my lazy ass post...

The last makeup look I did was a week or so ago..keep in mind my littlest has had pink eye so I havent been doing my makeup at ALL.

I had been trying to use colors I dont typically use...and Ive been dying my hair a nice deep cherry red. In the pics it looks pink...but its not.

My inspo...

and me and Gage

and onto dreads.....
The install I did on kittie

and the "pirate" dread wig I did for my friend...inspired by pirates of the carribean and callisto...

I was going to post a how-to picture tutorial...but I didnt get any pictures of the sealing process, or the installation of either...so Ill get more pics when I do my own wig and post em. Spent the weekend in a state of sleeping and taking care of little man and his pink eye and cold...so much fun.

How do you deal with Apathy?

2010-04-09T08:51:00.000-05:00

If you like silly happy Lyn...you might want to skip this

Im not even going to apologize for not posting anymore. I said in my first post that I am above all, a space cadet and therefore the rules dont apply to me...or something. Honestly and truly...I just havent been myself lately. One of the more defining qualities about me is that I am nearly always unbearably perky and optimistic. I might whine and vent, but when push comes to shove...Im cracking jokes or bouncing around raving about my newest project to anyone who makes the mistake of getting in my radius.

This last month though...its been rough. Ive been so overwhelmed with personal issues and the extreme emotional roller coaster that my brain decided it would be easiest to switch off the emotions altogether. The term Apathy always brings about visions of angsty teens who got picked on and wrote bad poetry...but that wouldnt be correct. Depression wouldnt even be correct as that would entail emotion....though it is where apathy always winds up for me.

I am completely underwhelmed by emotion. If happiness were giddy breezes and being tickled by puppy tails and depression were being tossed about by a turbulent sea that threatened to swallow you....Apathy is best described as being stuck in the mud to your hips and not being bothered to try and free yourself. Hey...your arms can move, you can do things...so why should you get out?

I havent been bothered enough to do more than the most menial tasks. Ive been skating by on housework, dinner has been mostly out of boxes than from scratch, I didnt pluck my eyebrows, shave my legs or bother with my hair or makeup. I havent done any crafting aside from a few commissioned projects that I had to do. I havent been excited about anything enough to do it. Ive been stuck in the mud.

I finally realized this over the weekend, both boys had gone to grandma's for the spring break to go play with her farm animals and be spoiled rotten...and both came back sick. Literally...Gage got out of my mom's van clutching a Darth Vader helmet he had been using to puke into and running a stupidly high fever...Warrick was just getting over it she told me...

For Easter...yep..no candy! well there was but they didnt eat it. Gage wasnt even well enough to go to school until wednesday morning, the same morning that I discovered that Warrick had a bitchin case of pink eye in both eyes. and then wed night he power puked on me. and then thursday he seemed better...then thursday night he power puked on me. Then he ran a fever all night and this morning..thats right...I just had to change clothes because he JUST puked on me.

Anyway...both boys sick and nastily so...and all I could muster up was annoyance that they would intrude into my muddy world. That was what woke me up a bit. My boys...sick as hell and Im annoyed at them? Monday I picked up a bottle of 5-HTP supplements to try and boost my serotonin levels. Im going to give it a month and if I dont see or feel a difference...Im going to talk to the doctor about anti depressants.

***I try to avoid mentioning depression to doctors as much as possible thanks to my teenage years. My adhd combined with severe depression led to me being misdiagnosed as Bi-Polar, being given multiple tranqualizers, anti depressants and other drugs they thought would help....which led to my brain freaking out and I actually started to feel crazy as hell. Then they hospitalized me for a few weeks, put me on anti psychotics and more tranqs and anti-everythings and I slept for 20 hours a day, started seeing foot long tracers following everything under most artificial lighting and gained 35 pounds in a 2-3 month time period before quitting all of it and dragging myself out of the depression by throwing myself into working, crafting and college.

But yeah...going to try and avoid the doc and take care of this myself, I feel like it might be working a bit as I am actually blogging and yesterday became a bit excited over an upcoming collaboration with a photographer friend.

and yes, today I am going to try and get up that dread tutorial I promised, along with pictures and an eye shadow look from a few weeks ago.

Yeast makes Beer Right?

2010-03-18T11:05:00.000-05:00

Im going to get honest kiddies. Remember that kidney infection? The Multiple fresh piercings? The hardcore antibiotic regimen? My complete inability to listen to simple instructions or to turn down my nightly beer? Yeah. Dan came home and it took one round of bumpin uglies to realize that mother nature does indeed has a sense of humor(and timing). And so does my crotch. And my mouth. And then we had drinks and did it again and I realized mother nature does NOT like to be fucked with. Kinda felt like someone had a lighter up against all my giblets....

But I digress. The long and short of it is that I couldnt drink beer, green or otherwise last night. That made me a sad panda. Onto the pictures!

Hooray for beer!

The Hubs does his best to turn his poo green.

Sister wife Nicole hides from Tiki Man

If Tiki Man is not appeased with gifts of tequila and teeth, he will devour your soul, or send your keys to his underworld of doom.

Pookie has a successful Poop.

I unhinge my jaw for a tasty lime treat.

hooray for hats!

Makeups!

Magic Eyeballs, or Pure Effing Crazy?

2010-03-16T08:04:00.000-05:00

Ive mentioned before that my eyes tend to change color depending on my hair color, what Im wearing and eye shadow....well...it has never been more apparent to me than now, after editing a few EOTD's. Ive been experimenting with blending and using colors I flat out do not use. Like yellow! Now it may be the lighting in the picture, but to me...it looks like my eye started to change color with the shadow as it goes. I tried editing the exposure and such, and indeed...one half of the eye is lighter than the other. and yellower. My eyes have always been obvious in their color changing, but this is way beyond what Ive seen before....granted I could be crazy from being sick as hell for the last few weeks. In any case....I leave it to you. I definitely need to use more yellow and try to catch this again.

New Metal in My Face, a Review, and a Wig.

2010-03-08T20:36:00.001-06:00

I have been trying out a new foundation. I picked up Maybelline's "Instant Age Rewind Eraser Treatment Makeup", which is a fucking mouthful. Henceforth it shall be called "Eraser stuff" (also see my new lip piercings? one is slightly off but Im gonna wait for the rest of the swelling to go down before I decide to take one out and repierce later)

The website says:

Instantly erase fine lines, creases and age spots with Instant Age Rewind® The Eraser, the first anti-aging makeup combining a patented Micro-Corrector Applicator and a breakthrough formula with active ingredients.
* Patented micro-corrector applicator micro-fills and smoothes imperfections on skin's surface
* Super-Concentrated formula with Goji Berry and Collagen tightens & improves skin elasticity
* SPF 18 Sunscreen helps protect skin from sun damage
* Clinically proven effectiveness*
*Based on a clinical study
For Best Results
Apply foundation directly to face with the Micro-Corrector Applicator, blending in an outward motion as needed.
The Eraser is protected with an anti-microbial system. To clean the applicator, wipe off excess foundation with dry tissue only. Do not wet applicator.
For optimal results, apply Instant Age Rewind Primer before application.

Basically...it does what it claims. I noticed an immediate difference in the fine lines around my eyes and the pores around my nose. It softened the laugh lines I have and makes my skin look very smooth and dewy. My skin felt amazingly soft while it was on, and even when I took it off. It hasnt broken me out beyond the normal realm of my skin. What I noticed most was that it significantly reduced the look of the enormous bags under my eyes....without concealer. The only cons I can find is that occasionally on my oily skin, dewy can turn into greasy...but if I used the fuzzy awesome antimicrobial applicator, it went back to looking dewy...without applying more makeup. Also...it isnt full coverage. It may have concealed my undereye bags, but my redness....it did not. Lastly, even the lightest shade is a bit off on me, but it isnt easily noticed with enough blending. Now...the results?

Indoor lighting, no flash, no adjustment. That is my skin, with Eraser stuff on it and nothing else. No primers, no foundations, no powders, no concealer. Not too shabby!

This one is adjusted only enough to show off the actual color of the wig. You can sorta see the shiny dewy look on my nose.

But yeah, overall...I love it, which is saying ALOT for me to like a liquid. Plus the applicator is antimicrobial, and its full of supposedly healthy goodness. Yay :)

Tomorrow is tutorial time. I have the pics all uploaded, but Im tired and dont feel like it. So ner.

No seriously. Im not dead!

2010-03-06T01:53:00.000-06:00

Post Kidney Rebellion aside, Ive been attempting to clean my house, and remake all the fucking dreads that my dog ate to do the install for Kittie tomorrow.

Meaning....Dread tutorial.

I also have a few products Ive been trying to review...such as that eraser makeup goji stuff and the eye studio gel liner stuff.

I also have yet more piercings. But there be swelling. So pictures of facial piercings as soon as I knock out the swelling. (I can sew my mouth shut!!)

Also D is coming home so yeah. More time=More posting.

whimperwhimper

2010-02-24T06:58:00.000-06:00

Apparently being overtired leads to massive consumption of redbull....which when dehydrated can fuck up yer kidneys. I was supposed to install a gorgeous burgandy, baby pink and black dreadkit on a girly yesterday, but after waking up and feeling as though Id been kicked in the back by a large farm animal, I decided I could barely move....being hunched over braiding for hours was so NOT going to happen.

The Septra feels like its doing its job, I dont hate my life today, which is a huge plus to me. Granted Ive still been reading far too much Charles Baudelaire....

ShtFckSh*T

2010-02-17T06:55:00.000-06:00

I had promised my darling husband I wouldnt spend TOO much money while he was away. Apparently me being alone for a week straight, stressed and agitated and trying to not set the computer on fire has led to being less than coy with the debit card.

Oops...oh well....I have nice things in the mail to rub my gleeful little hands over. Technically I didnt spend *that* much....but honestly...I didnt NEED a gorgeous red lolita-esque wig(coughyesiDIDcough) although we very much needed a new bedspread set. Our last one is in tatters thanks to gear, a dog, and my husbands gnarly army feet. I spent more than I wanted on the new one...but its so gorgeous that when I saw it online, I knew it had to be mine. It involves stark black and white contrast, large damask, and circus stripes! <3 Pictures when it gets here eeeee!

Today's chores involves not killing the dog for chewing every surface in the house (hes angsty with D gone) along with making our friend a snickers chocolate cheesecake for his birthday. Im winging the recipe, once you have a good chesecake recipe....the rest is just add-ins. Im sure Ill post a partially insane rambling about how to make it later, along with pictures and hopefully...no arson. I only mention that because I nearly set fire to my computer yesterday. And it was Mardi Gras and I did nothing. No...I ate pizza. and had wine. and got crazy with the debit card and listened to Lady Gaga's new album and became obsessed with the song Teeth. Listen to it....its awesomeness.

Happy VD?

2010-02-14T20:14:00.000-06:00

Yes kiddies, I am one of those V-day girls. The truth is...Ive never had a great Valentine's Day experience, which might account for my feelings of animosity towards the day. I know...Im married. Hell this is our 4th V-day as a married couple, and we had a few more before that....

However we have only spent ONE V-day together, and it was a disaster. It was the month before D was to deploy, and I was pregnant with Warrick, and full of hormones. Had I not been so full of preggy-hormones, it might not have been a bad day....

Our second V-day as a married couple, we were at Ft Hood. My darling husband had been filling my head with talks of an "actual" wedding ring. I was wearing a plain white gold band at the time. Now I am normally NOT a girl who wears jewelry, till my wedding band, I wore only a plain silver ring with vines and leaves and honestly...thats the extent of my jewelry. But for months he said he would buy me a REAL wedding ring, with a diamond. Christmas rolled around...then our Anniversary...then my birthday....and no ring. V-day being the LAST chance before he left, I assumed he was...because he had STILL been talking about it.

On V-day....he came home from work, and suprised me with.....

a Vacuum.

Ill wait for you to regain your composure.

Yes. A vacuum. For V-day. Nothing says "I Love you!!!" like an instrument of household slavery. Now had I not been pregnant and full of the dread hormonal insanity....Id have appreciated the vacuum, since we had none at that point. But combine hormones with expectations of a ring, and receiving a vacuum....the furthest thing from a romantic ring possible....I burst into hysterics. I cried for 3 days straight, and refused to tell him why. My mother remembers this and cracks up laughing everytime...

My husband did redeem himself though, Im assuming the guys at work kicked some sense into his head because within a week I had a shiny new absolutely gorgeous ring. But I still have my V-day Vacuum, and in fact today I spent over an hour cleaning it out and putting on a new belt (cause it broke)and then I vacuumed the house and thought of him.

But yes, that is my only V-day with my hubby....the rest have been stolen by the army, and today is no exception. Ive gotten a half dozen "Happy Valentine's Day!" calls and each one has left me progressively crankier.

Anyway...Ive gotten a commission to make a dreadkit for my piercer and Ill be posting a tutorial on dreadmaking, sealing and installing in the next week. So keep your eyeballs peeled....

TMI, a New Venture and Massive Procrastination.

2010-02-13T03:19:00.000-06:00

Lets do this backwards shall we?

Being that I spent the previous week in a perpetual state of undead with a side of horrifyingly sore feet, Ive been "taking it easy". Ive also been dealing with personal issues that have left me feeling a bit drained. I dont believe I mentioned it on here, but I was thrilled recently to learn that I was going to be an Aunt. I introduced my little brother to a girl I was very good friends with and they hit it off immediately...and moved in together. Then she started feeling ill...and I made her take a pregnancy test. And she was. Was. After calming her down, she told my brother and he was terrified, but happy. As was she. She went in for a sonogram(shs had issues in the past) and everything was normal and healthy looking. I even got to see my little niece or nephew in the sonogram picture. I guess it just wasnt the right time though....I wish I could do something to make them feel better, but there isnt really anything I can do.

Now that the sad is out, onwards eh?

My darling Husbie is away for a good bit, which stinks, but it isnt a deployment so Im not overly stressed. A few weeks ago I made an order with TKB and have been a busy little beaver experimenting. Apparently...Im not half bad. The gals at the busstop demanded I make them some too, and now I have a fledgling local custom eyeshadow business. I wasnt really meaning to, but it beats waiting tables at a strip club.....plus Im really enjoying the creating part of it. I dont have any plans to go online or anything, Im quite satisfied with having a hobby that is actually paying for itself. Which is kinda why Ive been putting everything else off...My level of procrastination right now is absolutely ridiculous. Tomorrow it stops though. (Hah...I was rereading this and realized how bad I really am) Tomorrow I WILL clean the entire house. and wash the carpets. and do ALL the laundry. I have no choice as this weekend is the weekend my Mum took the boys and I have no excuses.

Onto the TMI. If you are easily offended or disturbed, stop now!.
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Ok then. Since my dear ManCandy is not going to be home for abit...I figured I would taper my nipples. See...before Warrick I had my nipples pierced at a 10g. Breastfeeding Gage had left them almost completely without sensitivity. The piercings helped...I figured with Warrick I would take out my bars, nurse, then put them back in. Oh how wrong I was....nursing simply made my nipples swollen...making jewelry impossible to put back in. I gave it up and figured Id taper later on. Last march, before D came home from his deployment....I drank a good bit of tequila and tapered my nips. OUCH. Then in may...D got overly frisky and I had a small tear that got infected, and the other ring fell out in bed. So they closed up.

Me, being the genius I am...decided to go ahead and try it again while hes gone. My acrylic tapers just wouldnt do it. GAH. So today I went to the local tattoo shop that Id heard wasnt bad to see if I could buy a 10g metal taper, and why not...maybe a receiving tube and a 14g needle as well. Why? Because right before I found out I was pregnant with Warrick, I was going to get my hood pierced. Our piercer friend was staying with us and when I found out I was preggo....he gave me the needle and ring in their clave packages and told me to either do it myself, or have D do it(we have both apprenticed as piercers) once I had Warrick and was all healed up. and our household got packed into storage for the deployment and I had no access...then D came home and decided to pierce himself with it. No hood for me*sadface*

Anyway the piercer gal of course said they wouldnt sell piercing stuffies but said shed do my hood for 60$, and taper for free. woot!

Kinda. I only tapered to a 14g today, mostly due to the fact that the shenanigans left me with a bit of tight scar tissue.....it basically absorbed the lube faster than the taper went through....and became stuck with just the 16g taper. It took 45 minutes each side to pull the 16g taper through....the 14g taper chased just fine since it had the ability to jam the lube in the hole (boy that sounds dirty)My endorphins kicked in pretty intensely though, so it didnt actually hurt.

Then it was no pants time.

Ill be honest..Ive only flinched once during a piercing. I KNOW that there are no nerve endings worth note in the hood...its just a small bit of skin. The piercing part wasnt an issue....it was the whole needle-near-my-little-man-in-a-boat thing. The angle it goes in from your view point looks a whole lot like that needle is going right into your no no parts. My knees jerked together about a half an inch before I caught myself, and that scared me worse because I could again imagine that needle being jammed into my girl parts. Lucky for me, she has dealt with far worse flinching. Phew.

It didnt actually hurt in the slightest as piercings go, even now I cant really tell its been done unless I walk alot. and that isnt sore, its just interesting. But yes, I am pleased with the return of my nips and my new friend. I told you it was tmi.

I Chucked Dueses.

2010-02-10T00:43:00.000-06:00

Yes indeed, eff that noise. I asked to work weekends, yet was scheduled for an entire week straight basically. No thanks. Did you know you can get blisters on the TOPS of your toes? Me neither, but you can apparently.

Aside from that I also had to pretend I wasnt married. Not cool.
I had to tell a creepy old toothless hillbilly that no, he could most certainly NOT pay me money to pee into a bucket for him to drink.
I had to repeat the phrase "Im a waitress, not a dancer" like 946735292 times. Though I can admit, being a mother of two, it is somewhat flattering to be offered a few hundred bucks to give a lapdance. But still, no. I look like a can of popped biscuit dough without clothes on. Yanno, and the whole self respect thing. I have nothing but love for the dancers, cause god knows they work for the money.....but I have no idea how they can pretend to enjoy being nekkid on the lap of creepy toothless pee-fetishizing hillbilly. *shudder*

So....Im back. Officially. It may have been a week and a half, but it feels like forever, and Im glad to be back to feeling human, not insanely overtired and sore. Also....expect the Craftastrophe to go on as planned, and for me to finally get back to what I was doing before. (and finally get shit mailed out, jeebus!)

I apologize, I really must have been having a serious brain fart to consider working nights while taking care of kids.

Congrats M!

2010-02-04T08:38:00.000-06:00

You won!

Im going to shoot you an email and over the next few days we can discuss in depth your hat and within a few weeks you shall have awesomeness!

Now again I have to apologize for lack of posting. Unfortunately my job has a policy of making new girls work all the flipping time until they prove their worth so to speak. So hopefully soon I wont have to work quite as many crap days, meaning I wont be a walking pile of hot mess. (cause I be tired!)I feel terrible as I still havent sent out Grey's hat, or Ana's care package. Procrastination is something I need to work on.

Not Dead, Working.

2010-02-02T06:46:00.000-06:00

Saturday night was a midget wrestling failure. Im not gonna go into how we stood outside in the freezing cold for hours and STILL got denied.

Whats a group of cool kids with no kids and no midgets to do?

Go to the strip club, duh!

We had a blast, and I got myself a job waiting tables there. Turns out a bunch of gals quit and they were holy crap desperate (hehe) so I started last night and omg, my feet hurt. But it was fun! and I didnt have to get nekkid!

Expect a real post soon, <3 ya!

Lyn's Birthday+Alcohol+Zombies+Alcohol=Cross Dressing Soldiers!

2010-01-30T17:51:00.000-06:00

Sooooo yesterday started out crappy what with the terrible weather and me being sicky, but in the end, all was well! I dont have all the pictures yet, but within a few days Ill round up the other people's pics are post them too!

The amazing cake my friend/brother GF made me....isnt it awesome!!! I cant even believe how neat it was, and it was sooooo yummmmy...strawberry cake and lemonade frosting and pink sugar crystals and fondin!

Now....the picture taking started long after the drinking commenced, and somehow....there was much cross dressing. This is just the start, for some reason I dont have the pics on my cam from when the boots turned into boots/vinyl mini and corset and wig and makeup...but Ill find em later

Yep....

Zombies! (Me and "Rasputia"

Zombies eat Meat! (Me and D)

They are Sad!

Cross dressing skeleton?

and then things got weird....

Really Weird....

I should mention that while it LOOKS suspiciously like a sausage party, there were several girls there....but they wisely avoided the camera.

Why are there so many half naked men in my kitchen?!? (D grabs my booby!)

Tiny attempts to kill Zombie-Girl, I am glad I wore full bottomed drawers.

He was also wearing and purple and black tutu.

Live Action Ass Busting! (for the record, I tripped on a case of beer placed behind me)

The rundown....we went through a keg, 6 bottles of wine, I have no idea how many cases of beer, a bottle of Sailor Jerry Rum, a bottle of Crown, 3 trays of jello shots, and a good bit of cranberry vodka. Many bodies littered my floor for the night, no one drove drunk, everyone had fun, my boobs managed to stay in their top and all was well! More pictures as I get them :)

The Procrastination must end!

2010-01-28T11:04:00.000-06:00

Ive been putting off several things lately, mostly due to lack of resources, but all of that is about to end with the deposit of the tax return into the bank account *waits for the fanfare to end*

This means I have a very very busy week ahead of me. How busy you ask?
Tomorrow morning I have to pack up the boys to take them to their grandmother's house for the weekend about an hour away. Then I have to be home no later than noon to go grocery shopping (and um party fixins shopping)
I have to make a metric butt ton of jello shots
I have to do my own zombie makeup, and a friends zombie makeup
I have to clean the whole damn house, including washing the carpets
I have to make dinner
Then I get to party like an adult for my Birthday Zombie themed party!
Then saturday nurse the inevitable hangover and clean the house....
Then saturday night MIDGET WRESTLING FOR THE EFFING WIN!
Then probably nurse another hangover, followed by a shopping trip to alexandria, an hour away to Hobby Lobby! For crafting needs and hopefully to find the perfect grey soft fabric to finish the Lady Grey's hat, cause I cant find the right material locally and Ive been putting off this hat because of that reason for a few weeks. Oops!
Then Im going together a few other packages for friends and such, and go shopping for kanekalon hair to start making dreads again!
Then the boys come home sunday night, monday morning gage goes to school and I begin the crafting! Monday afternoon take Grey's hat to be shipped finally!
Then basically tuesday will be a good deal of online shopping for various foundations and a few pencil skirts Ive been eyeballing. The rest of the week will be going through the boys clothes to pack what doesnt fit, or whats ratty and figure out what they DO need...

Then my husbie is going to play soldier in a field for a month. which is when the REAL crafting mayhem begins. Like fer woah!

Any special tutorial requests? I have a few planned for Feb...

-Mad Hatter dupe hat tut
-Zombie skirt from tshirt tut(which will probably be up tomorrow or saturday)
-Dread making tuts
-Dread wig making tuts
-Furniture re-vamping tuts(including power sanding/striping, tile laying and grout, what to do with broken mirrors, some easy re-upholstery)
-How to make a duct tape double for easier sewing

and much more!

January was more makeup oriented and I apologize, February will be all about the crafting!

Are you ready? (oooh dramatic!)

Whats Yer Lazy-Face?

2010-01-27T16:06:00.000-06:00

Ok...what IS Lazy-Face?

Lazy-Face is the makeup you throw on when you have to, but dont really feel like fucking around. Alot fo gals I know gravitate towards nudes/taupes, or maybe just plain mascara and eyeliner...which is my route.

Today I have an FRG meeting, so I *have* to not look hideous being that Im usually the go-to girl for everything. (meaning...Im their bitch)Plus I hate going out into public and maybe having to speak and looking a hot mess. So I went for my Lazy-Face staples. The simple yet classic pin up-y look. Flicked liner, clean brows, red lips.

You cant see my mini-pomp there, but trust me, its cute!

Rawr! (didnt know my mirror was so dirty, ewww!!)

Sorry for so many makeup looks lately, but Im trying to make myself be a bit better groomed. After two weeks of lazy hair and no makeup and just barely dressed everyday...I have to at least try heh

Now....What is YOUR Lazy-Face?

PinkEye for Birthdays!

2010-01-27T08:10:00.000-06:00

No not really but thats what I named this look.

and for a bit of fun....

Ahhh I ate bad shellfish!!! (jk...)

I used....
Medusa's Makeup in Red Baron
Fyrinnae in Shinigami, Digital fairie and Freya
Sassy Minerals in Jinx
Urban Decay in Shattered

I had terrible lighting but I realllllly loved how it came out.

Its voting time!

2010-01-27T06:45:00.000-06:00

We have 3 gals to vote for, you can vote once by leaving her name in a comment....voting ends Feb 1st!

First up is Jessie Lynn from http://thisgirlapproves.blogspot.com/
Her dream hat is described as
I think my dream top hat would be a luxe black material with some amazing flowers on one side of the brim. Maybe some deep red or hot pink and orange or a bright turquoise scheme. Maybe some black lace and/or black feathers! I love feathers. =D I think my dream hat would be girlie yet sexy and sophisticated.

Then is M, My dream hat (very badly drawn): http://img136.imageshack.us/img136/9523/tophats.jpg

Reference for shape: http://media.hollyscoop.com/Images/PGImages/26899367---dita_von_teese.jpg (though bigger, like a real top hat, not a half-miniature one.)
Reference for netting: http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_WKKAoW4lrWA/SOI3ukea8-I/AAAAAAAAAHI/iO3Bcymud7c/s1600-h/top+hat+front.jpg

Everything detachable (except the netting) because a girl needs to be able to mix and match and/or swap out the elements depending on the occasion. Better than investing in a large number of hats, even if it puts the milliners out of business.

Next is Porcelaine from http://toffeexxhelvetti.blogspot.com/
i've got two pictures which you can refer to each other. i used paint and polyvore
links:
http://toffeexxhelvetti.blogspot.com/2010/01/top-hat.html
http://s238.photobucket.com/albums/ff284/daisypack/?action=view¤t=tophatdaisy.jpg&newest=1

Vote away ladies!

Tagged.

2010-01-26T16:23:00.000-06:00

I've been tagged by the adorable BleedingBeautiy at http://vampiressdoll.blogspot.com/ . I kinda feel special.

Now for the rules tag 5 other bloggers you love to read and answer the following load of questions haha.

1. Where is your cell phone? On the couch

2. Your hair? Pinned up all messy with a bow
3. Your Mother? Crazy as a loon, and I love her for it.

4. Your Father? My Dad adopted me, but I recently connected with my Bio-father. Both rock.

5. Your favourite food? A toss up between havarti cheese, fresh cold kiwi, and delicious maine lobster, boiled and served with buttah.

6. Your dream last night? This ought to shock anyone whos known me very long...Post Apocalyptic....with a twist. Alice in Motherfuckin Wonderland. With tornadoes. Go figure, as the alarm went off, the Mad Hatter, the Rabbit, the kids and I were hiding in a giant clock shaped hole and the windows had been busted out by the guards.

7. Your favourite drink? Redbull!

8. Your dream / goal? Small business owner. (make enough money off of crafting to craft hah)

9. What room are you in? Living Room(but bouncing between here and the kitchen cause Im makin chili)

10. Your hobby? Zombie theories, reading, writing, makeup, crafting...
11. Your fear? Waking up during surgery and not being able to move.

12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? Um...please dont make me think ahead to my thirties..

13. Where were you last night? At home, feeding people, cleaning, watching Anthony Bourdain's fine old ass.

14. Something you aren't? Im not what you want me to be.

15. Muffins? Im Bluffin'

16. Wish list item? New brushes, more fyrinnae, corsets, stompy boots, more tattoos, lots of kanekalon hair in petrol green.

17. Where did you grow up? Maine!

18. Last thing you did? Grumbled about my children trying to eat my effing brain. Teething baby+Whiney 5 y/o=NOT WIN.

19. What are you wearing? Acid washed hot pink pegged jeans, black, pink and cream zebra top with hot pink lace, cropped 3/4s length sleeve black cardigan with pink spiderweb, my favorite skully pink bow and flip flops.

20. Your TV? Marvelous misadventures of flapjack, muted.

21. Your pets? My insane chihuahua/boston terrier mix named Cthulhu, who is actually driving me to insanity with his inability to potty outside.

22. Your friends? I have a few

23. Your life? Needs excitement. I grumble when Im busy....but I thrive on non-stop busy work.

24. Your mood? Irritated at my husband. and kids.

25. Missing someone? My youth?

26. Vehicle? Being driven by the husband, its awesomely ghetto....literally has no inside door handles.

27. Something your not wearing? Um...fake eyelashes?

28. Your favourite store? Hobby Mo'fuckin LOBBY.

29. Your favourite colour? Black, Crimson red, Baby pink, Emerald green

30. When was the last time you laughed? At the bus stop with Cecilia....over Stinky Pinkies and Midget Wrestling on the 31st!

31. Last time you cried? Hah...watching Star Wars sadly..

32. Your best friend? Cara, I less than 3 her.

33. One place that i go over and over? The bus stop yo. Twice a day, 5 days a week.

34. One person who emails me regularly? Spam....and um...spam :(

35. Favourite place to eat? I really miss Ming's in Houston. Their Beef with Brocalli is probably the bestest best thing evar.

I tag...
Everyone!

Haiku Haulage

2010-01-25T12:28:00.000-06:00

So friday night my hubby came home and slung a small bubble wrap package across the counter while I was making dinner.
"I thought you were going to wait until the tax return before getting more makeup?!?"

I totally did! I was like "whu?!?" till I noticed the "Grey" at the top and remembered the Haiku contest I won over at her page (http://legothique.com) for the Ode to Repackagers. Though I knew it was all repackaged, I couldnt help but giddily tear into the envelope.....quickly choking on the huge cloud of pink and orange shimmerdust that spewed out thanks to my hubs' rough handling. I baby-wiped them all off and he sat there looking...

Him: Um...why are there so many of the same color??
Me: I told you, the prize was alot of repackaged makeup
Him: but there are like 3 or 4 oranges and 2 yellows and 3 greens and 2 blues and...
Me: Now you know why I get all pissy when I get repackaged goods!
Him: Ooooooh.

He and I have actually had this convo many times. I have had to liken makeup to video games.
"Wouldnt it suck if you bought a sweet new video game that was supposed to be all neat-o and rad and then you open it and play it and it is 100% identical to 3 other games you already owned, even if it looked different in the apckage and was claimed to be completely different??"

But then when I did my Fyrinnae Freakout he looked at my swatches and said "it just looks like all the other shiny shit you have hun"

SHAME!

But yes...I now have a fun bit of goodness from Miss Grey

Now of course I really do haveto invest in a second warpaint box...After my Sassy and Fyrinnae hauls I already knew but now I have to as these are still chillin on the counter. (and Im planning on more fyrinnae)

Dont forget the Contest!

2010-01-25T11:26:00.000-06:00

Cause the first part ends tomorrow and there is only one entry.

Also I have good and awesomely news. Thanks to everyone and their "Polky" yhoughts...my super awesome friend is waiting her info on the move to Polk. Huzzah! (this means that you wont see as much of my own face, I cant do other peoples makeups!!)

*does a funky butt shuffle*

Milani Luminous & My inner 16 y/o Gothgirl

2010-01-22T16:00:00.000-06:00

I own one blush. I did own a few but being as obnoxiously pale as I am...well lets say 90% of blushes make me look like a clown. One the first swipe...

Boo!

So I pretty much avoided using blush altogether, till I was told about Nars Orgasm and its magical mystical powers of perfect for all skin tones. I tested it at a Sephora (back when we lived near civilization) but I couldnt bring myself to plunk down 25 bucks on something I had done just fine without anyway.

Then a little birdy told me to try Milani Luminous. 5 bucks for a blush is much better than 25, so I went ahead and picked it up.....and now Im about to hit pan on my second. It is IMPOSSIBLE for me to use too much. I cant fuck it up. I tried to today! I swiped on like 5894362950 layers, and it still looks all natural flushy on me. (I also happen to be channeling my inner 15 y/o goth girl today thanks to Fyrinnae's Freya!) Oh and for the record, my lips are dry and bare, thats their natural color.

A bit blurry but you can clearly see 15 y/o Lynny rolling her eyes in teenyage cynicism.

Slightly more natural light. See? Its a bit darker than I normally wear it, but it doesnt like like I rolled around the whore paint cheek first.

My piggy-buns and leather choker are making me listen to Rob Zombie, NIN and ICP today. But dont tell about that last one...the shame!

Am I allergic to My foundation?

2010-01-22T08:36:00.000-06:00

Ive been asking myself this lately. Granted I have been dealing with acne ever seen I got off of the dreaded Depo, but last year my skin took a decidedly nasty new turn. Cystic acne. Ive been fighting with this for a year...ironically about a year ago is when I was turned onto Bare Minerals.

Which contains Bismuth Oxychloride.....which apparently CAUSES cystic acne in some women. I didnt notice it at first because the acne starts so deeply..my old foundation Id wear and break out quickly. Bare Minerals was subtle. Id remove my makeup and look fine, then a few days later....horrible horrible cystic acne. Like today. A few days ago after I took pictures I buffed on some powder and went on with my day. Now I look like a teenage boy who doesnt shower.

My skin HAD been clearing up. I hadnt worn foundation since my last ACNE OF DOOM/Zombieface debacle. My scrublet and Panoxyl and Skin rev-er up-ep were working miracles.

Damnit damnit damnit. Bare Minerals was the only foundation I had found that matched my chalky skin tone and actually looked good. Now what do I use? Liquids look shit on me, and I have the worst time finding things light enough...

Any recommendations for a decent powder foundation sans bismuth oxychloride, but uber pale?

42

2010-01-20T23:48:00.003-06:00

Now the world has gone to bed
Darkness won't engulf my head
I can see by infra-red
How I hate the night

Now I lay me down to sleep
Try to count electric sheep
Sweet dream wishes you can keep
How I hate the night

*hums to self*

The Coolest Gift in the History of Gifts!

2010-01-20T15:53:00.000-06:00

There is a long version of this story, but Ill keep it short. I found my biological Father back in November...its been an extremely strange and insanely cool journey getting to know each other, and Ive discovered my snowflake is not nearly as unique as once I thought. Ive always believed in nurture Vs. nature, but now I am not so sure. Aside from looking ahelluva lot like him, our personalities are eerily similar. Right down to the slightly twisted sense of humor and biting sarcasm....(and tattoos haha)

Anyway I just got a package from old Pops and it was awesome. He sent family pictures and some of his Mom's costume jewelry and a gorgeous necklace, and a few cd's of his music(also awesome) but the very coolest part was in a small manilla envelope.

"Moms keeping her eye out for you Lynny"

and inside was his mom's (my Grandma's) old prosthetic eye.

Easily the coolest gift ever. I cant decide whether I want to get it set into a necklace, or just use it in a shadow box. I love it. Its so fricking amazingly neat! I wont ever get to meet my Grandma, but like he said, shes got her eye out for me!

Peacock Hooker Glam!

2010-01-20T11:35:00.000-06:00

Please nevermind my puffy un-madeup face. I have two children and rarely sleep.

Taking a picture while on the phone....for the WIN!

I used....

Digital Fairy
Wicked
Equality
Freya
DragonMagic
Pixie Epoxy
and on ze lips...Nyx in Eucalyptus, and of course My beloved Lash Stiletto.

I love how you can see my blonde roots. Fuckin' Classy!

Its Contest Time...Huzzah!

2010-01-19T23:47:00.001-06:00

I really struggled for a few minutes about the title of this post. A massive part of me really wanted to add something about flying monkeys and minions...but alas....comparing my dear readers to winged anthropoids who may or may not flinging their own feces is just rude.

(but if you did fling your own poo, Id giggle my ass off!)

*ahem*

I have finally reached 25 readers. Im not sure why this is significant to me, aside from the fact that in a very short week I myself will be turning the big 2-5...mostly because I dont have my blog set up to make monies...I blog because I have too much free time on my hands and I need to justify my own habits....nevertheless I am proud in an odd way that I have hit 25 readers within 20 days. Technically 19, but 20 is a nice round number. I had waffled for months and even a year or more about a blog, what to blog about, could I commit to one topic? I think I have proven to myself at least that I dont need one topic to entertain. I enjoy the spontaneity that comes with posting whatever flies into my slightly over-sized head. I also enjoy ellipses and run on sentences. Bwahahaha!

ANYWAY! My contest is simply this:
Draw, describe, or use a painty program to create your own dream top hat. Then....comment with your picture or description. (you need to be a follower though, or have an email address)
On Jan 26th(my birthday) I will go ahead and make a neat-o little poll and let the good readers decide which hat they want to see me attempt to recreate.
The poll will be open until Feb 1st.
The winner will then wait oh-so-eagerly for me to complete their dreamy hat and then....

Well then they will have a frickin sweet hat.

Easy right?

Get to thinkin!

(edit:No...you dont have to repost this all over the damned internet. Id prefer if you didnt honestly. I dont have a twitter, I dont enjoy spam, and no one will die in 12 1/2 minutes if you dont repost this. I do enjoy havarti cheese though)

I have a Fyrinnae Boner.

2010-01-19T15:52:00.001-06:00

I has Fyrinnae.

I have no words to accurately describe the pure fucking sex that is fyrinnae.

The closest I can come to describing my emotions right now is OMGasm. I seriously just had an OMGasm. I think I need a smoke.

No really...Pixie Epoxy is miraculous, the Makeup itself.... Sweet Jesus.

If I can catch some sunlight, Ill post my swatches. But seriously....OMFG.

Mad Hatter in Progress....and...a Contest soon!

2010-01-19T11:16:00.000-06:00

So I know everyone is all a-flutter about the new Alice in Wonderland movie, I know I have been eagerly awaiting the movie's release for around 2 years now. I also love love love the packaging for the Urban Decay's Alice themed Book of Shadows, I just wish I loved all the colors in it. Sadly spending 50 bucks on a book of shadows where I would only use one or two is out of the question. Which sucks. However I was looking at the movie posters earlier and was struck by the Mad Hatter's hat.

The costume design was by Colleen Atwood, who has done a helluva lot of amazing costume work. She was the designer behind Sleepy Hollow, Edward Scissorhands, Memoirs of a Geisha and too many amazing-costume movies to list. She a genius.

I know he wanted to depart with the traditional narrative. How tied were you to the original illustrations, and what were you reference points for designing a new Alice in Wonderland?
It was really freeing, because there’s Lewis Caroll’s own drawings, of which there aren’t very many and they’re quite simple. As Alice went through various eras, there’s classic references for them. Because this is so different from what people are going to expect — Alice isn’t a ten-year-old girl, she’s a young woman — there’s a nod to the classical need for that. But once she goes into Wonderland, we took it to another place. The Hatter has a hat and the recognizable elements, but we explored the world of hat makers in London in the period. So we pulled from that for inspiration more than the previous illustrations, and Johnny used that for his character. They called hatters “mad hatters” because they used these toxic glues and dyes all the time, and they were actually quite mad, a lot of them. So it was quite cool to read about that business in that time, and that they were actually quite in demand and made a quite decent living at that period.
http://www.movieline.com/2009/11/alice-in-wonderland-costumer-colleen-atwood-its-going-to-be-amazing.php?page=all

How neat! For the last year, Id been obsessed with hats, and about 5 or 6 months ago, I finally started making them (as you well know from my insane glue-gun-suicide-inducing tutorial) Of course I cant afford to spend a few hundred dollars on actual hat making blocks, nor would I want to be constrained to just one or two styles....I love being able to freely shape my own, even if they arent felted wool. Cardboard and Card stock work wonders! Eeek...ok sorry. Im excitable today thanks to the 5 cans of Pepsi Max(with GINSING!)

Annnnnnnyway...staring at these amazing posters, I began to look more closely at the Mad Hatter's hat. To be honest, Im thinking that hat was made in the same cardstock way I do it. Looking at the top you can see that it isnt even sunk in to fit, its resting on top and attached. To me, that is the hallmark of a DIY hat. Struggling with methods of making sure the top rests just so on the inside took me multiple attempts and much aggravation before finding a way to make ti look like a "real" hat. Im thinking that maybe the hat part of it was constructed in two parts since its got such a distinct straight up, then the super flare....cant make card stock do that...the hat pins can be easily made with straight pins and beads. The actual hat decoration looks like the hat was painted green, then Lace was added, then painted green, and sponged over with a bit with gold paint.

I guess what Im saying is that very soon, I shall be recreating the Mad Hatter's hat. And wig. (Im thinking the wig looks like nothing more than bright orange/red/yellowish marley braid) I will more than likely do a full tutorial on the hat and wig, and maybe try and do the makeup and eyebrows as well if anyone is interested in the full tutorial. I wont be able to do this for a week or two, plus Ill more than likely have to order in marley braid in that sort of colors cause the local beauty stores here just dont have that kinda thing...

But yeah, whos interested in the full hat/wig/eyebrow/makeup tutorial? If enough people are interested, Ill do the picture by picture....heck maybe if it goes well enough, Ill try my hand at the Mad Hatter's jacket later on. I have a fairly neat-o pattern for a similar jacket and have been needing an excuse to make it *evil laugh*

Hell, who am I kidding, the costuming for the movie is just insane. Im incredibly inspired right now.

Lynny-Land is in an uproar for other reasons. Ive been quite *sadface* lately thanks to the military's awesome way of moving people so damn much and basically stripping my local friends down to one good friend. I am a very social girl, I like people and being a Domestic Engineer means I spend a LOT of time alone...which makes me a bit crazy. However I just got the super fucking rad news that one of my old friends from Ft Hood is trying to come here. I guess last week they were checking their options and Polk was available, but today it wasnt. But since Polk is so rapid-moving they are gonna try again next week and Im really hoping it will be. So please please please.....think Happy-Lyn's-friend-movey-to-Polky thoughts, Cause shes a Mad Crafter too....and that means Twice the Mayhem.

So yeah. Also expect a post later today with my New Fyrinnae swatches and stuffies cause its supposed to get here today...

Waaayyyyyyy too much caffeine today, yikes!

Oh and btw kiddies, I <3 getting comments. Oooh and I am going to do a contest as soon as I hit 25 followers. I am almost there, but I figured 25 is a good number cause I turn 25 next week. Fun eh? So yeah, Im trying to figure out what I am going to do for a contest, but Im thinking maybe I might have everyone try and create an original design/drawing for the hat of their dreams. Then we will have a poll on which hat rocks the most, then I will try to do my best and recreate the hat....which I will send to the winner.

So start drawing, or describing, or fiddling with a paint program, cause its time to give back to the readers!

Weekends are for Family time, and for Drinking.

2010-01-17T16:24:00.000-06:00

So again its a weekend, and Ive spent it snuggling with the kids and hubby, and a few nights ago we had an adult gathering once the wee ones were in bed. Im a bit on the *sadface* side since I got the news that my very bestest friend's husband reupped(reenlisted) and has a new duty station assigned. Right now she is only a 6 hour drive. In sept, she will be in hawaii. Which basically translates to "I will never see her again". They have no ties to texas, or to anywhere but the westcoast. If that bomb werent bad enough, our newest friends' just told us that she will be heading back to her mom's for awhile because she is sick. This is back to back from around Christmas when My other friend left, and I found out my other very close friend here is also moving..soon.

Keep in mind we have only been here at Polk for 6 months. It took 6 months to make a small handfull of friends, and theyre all leaving. So you will have to forgive me this weekend, I have a pint of Ben &Jerry's and Im planning to eat at least half of it. (ok all of it) and then Im going to have a few cocktails tonight. Then Ill probably cry a bit.

They say the hardest part of being a military spouse is deployments, but this whole isolation thing is a damn close second.

Fooking Sweaty Crotches!

2010-01-14T19:21:00.000-06:00

I have to apologise for the lack of crafting. The month between Christmas and Tax Return is a lean one, but fear not. Come February, I will have a Craft Explosion.....no...a Craftastrophe! So...yeah. I started to rant about a few things earlier today, but decided to give it a rest. Instead...how about things that amused me.

Ill start with a picture I took just a few minutes ago.

That is the BEST captcha EVAR! Seriously, I giggled and tee-hee'd and then took a picture. Sure I could have done a screen print, but um then Id have to crop and whatnot. Seriously though, best captcha evvverrrrrr.

Now...onto the other funny. This is a collection of pictures I ganked from Forever21.com. Yes...I was perusing the online shop, but not for the snap crotch flannel shirts. I have a bit of a chub for cute cardigans, and they have a plenty. So I was cardigan window shopping. Anyway....the level of WTF of off the charts. I knew I had to share.

Yep, lacey spandex bike shorts...cause my legs were omfgwhite enough before, I need to contrast them with black, at the knee. 0.o

This is exactly what it looks like. Its a pair of booty shorts....made out of itchy-itchy-hideous-sweaty-crotch-inducing-snowflake-encrusted ugly. I dont even understand this. My brain simply does not comprehend the mindset behind these. Ill try though...heres how it went in my head..

Hipster #1-Hmm...its winter, lets design a nordic themed sweater!
Hipster #2-But...dude...nordic sweaters are totally not ironic enough!
Hipster #1-You are so right! Wait...what if we made a nordic sweater pair of shorts??
Hipster #2- Now THAT is irony!

Then they stroked their mustaches and had a microbrew non-alcoholic beer.

Thats right. TWO hideous itchy sweaty crotch wool booty shorts.

I assume this is what happens when you get stoned and fall asleep watching Xena, while trying to come up with a hip new skirt.

Congrats kids. You managed to make a size zero mannequins ass look HUGE. *blank stare*

You thought I was kidding when I said snap crotch flannel shirt didnt you?

I seriously cant follow that up with anything else. It leaves me full of slack-jawed wonder.

My Hormones have a Bodycount, Rest in Pieces Little Butt Baby.

2010-01-13T10:54:00.001-06:00

Another old blog for your enjoyment. Or horror. :D

Tonight trying to make dinner was quite eventful.

I know what your thinking..."pregnant woman makes dinner....pukes guts out" right?

Nu uh. No, tonight was a testament to the sheer clumsiness of myself.

It started out innocently enough. I had to feed the fish, which is currently number 2 on my list of icky chores...second only to washing day old dishes. So I feed the fish. We have big fish, a giant koi and a bunch of other goldfish family types. So we have to feed them big stinky pellets of food. Yum! Well....my stupid ass dropped the full brand new jar or food, sending stinky ass pellets all over my fucking kitchen. So I swept em up, holding my breath.

Washed my hands and went to work on the chicken I had thawing in zippy bags in hot water in the sink. I pulled one out and the recipe I had called for them to be pounded flat. Well I dont have a kitchen mallet, so I figured using a flat bottomed skillet might get em flat enough. Well what i didn't count on was the slipperyness of raw chicken in a zippy bag. And I didn't seal the bag well enough. I smacked that chicken with that pan and the chicken shot right out of that zippy bag and flew across the kitchen, onto you guessed it...the freshly de-fish pelleted floor. I also got sprayed in the face with raw chicken juice. Mmm.

So I rinsed off the chicken pretty good(oh like youve NEVER done that) and chloroxed down the counters and floor and washed my hands and face pretty good with Dawn....then I had to hunt down the olive oil. Well....Gage got this gigantic coffin shaped box full of gummy candy body parts from his Mimi and Paw paw and it was up in the cabinet in front of the olive oil.

Yes, thats right. Roughly 250 random individually wrapped (thank god) body parts were strewn all over my fucking kitchen floor.

*sigh*

That was all in about a 15 minute time span. When I tell you I was cursing like a damned sailor with crabs and no razor.....well...I was. Yay for clumsy! Now...I havent been going so much lately...but I finally made something substantial...I feel better, but I kinda wish I hadnt.

Yesterday I had been in pain...horrible pain and I KNEW it had to be a poo log. I just didn't know when it would find its way out.

D wanted chinese food, so we ordered and I ate a few bites and VIOLA within 5 minutes of the crab rangoons and sauteed string beans, I said ohhhh shit. I sat myself down and held on tight, feet flat against our tiny bathroom walls. It ripped its way down the passage in the slowest possible way. I cried. I prayed. I may have screamed a little. I think I offered my soul in exchange for relief... and when I looked down, I KNEW there would be no deer poop. It took 20 minutes of intense pushing and all I could think about was the episode of southpark with the worlds biggest poo. I knew this sonova bitch would have to be measured in Kourics. I would have willingly cut off my own finger for an epidural.

Sure enough it was MASSIVE. It was about 18 inches long, in 2, 8 inch segments. Now it may have been long but it was the width that shocked me. For the very first time in our marriage, I called D in to look. He stared at it, eyes wide.. and said "Baby, go get a wire coat hanger." It was easily 3-4 inches across. It looked like my ankle....no it looked like a coke can. Seriously, we even named it our Little Butt Baby. Then I had to sit on a pillow for the rest of the night. My poor tooshy...

Adventures in Shopping or How Lyn Nearly Shit her Pants in a Cab.

2010-01-13T10:35:00.000-06:00

This is edited for adult content, Pops...you might not wanna read this. Just Sayin'
This was posted almost exactly 2 years ago. I was in the first trimester in my pregnancy with Warrick and had extreme morning/noon/night sickness. I cursed far more frequently than I do now.

So as you may be able to tell from the title of this little blog that I had an adventurous day. I did.

and I nearly did.

But Ill get into that in a bit.

So at the wondrous hour of 3am, I was awoken quite rudely by my stomach. Ill let you guess what I did, but Im sure you know. I prayed quietly to the porcelain gods to let this be the worst of today.

And it was!

I got up in fine spirits, a bit queasy, but I downed some Grape Powerade (go go B-6!!) and felt good. So D and I decided to get our taxes done. He went to print off his w-2, only to find it is not available now until the 22nd. BOOOOO. They said the 11th!! Motherfuckers. So our go-buggy will not be fixed until feb now. Again.....BOOOOO.

Annnyway. Bonds gave us a ride to Wallyworld. This was sometime around 1:30ish. D spoiled the motherlovin heck out of me. Im pretty sure he is feeling bad about knocking me up, inadvertently causing me a world of discomfort....because I had to say NO to a bunch of crap or wed be some broke ass bitches. But he got me some squishy socks trimmed in leopard print furry goodness(cause my feet are always so cold, and he hates when I stick my freezing ass feet up his backside)...I got a super comfy new bamboo fiber bra because My titties are insane. My bras have quit trying to contain the wonder that is my mammories. So yeah.....new big ass bra. New cute panties with cartoony stuff on em.

A new purse....which Im wondering if D has a purse fetish...That man is ALWAYS talking about buying me new purses. The other day he was going on about buying me a Doony and Burke purse because at the PX they are only 150. Ok....D&B purses are fucking UGLY. As. Shit. And I can think of alot of things I could buy and would rather buy with a buck fitty. Like a corset (sob) or a new crib. Or a new tattoo (sniff) but yeah. He mentioned a few times how his ex (and yes I knew her) used to sucker men into buying her outrageously priced handbags. Bags that cost more than a down payment. Bags that come with satin bags to put the bags in. Why the fuck does a purse need a purse to carry it in? I dont get it. To me...a purse is something that I put my wallet, keys, phone, diapers, juice, crackers, cookies, makeup, hatchet, knife, and maybe a brush in. I guess of all the things in the world to spend money on.....a purse just isnt one of them.

Wow....Tangent. But yeah, a new purse which is cute and crumb free. woot! Now it might not sound like alot to most of you. Wow...panties and a bra, socks and a purse. Heres the thing....Im really low maintenance. Im the girl you try to buy shit for and Im like.....we need so many other things than something that seems frivolous. Also he tried to get me to buy multiples of everything. And he actually tried to get me to get alot more....hell he tried to get my ass into maternity to start buying pants (my ass aint that big yet baby!) The way I figure...if I dont need it...why bother right now. But the stuff I got I needed (aside from the purse cause I have like....4) We also dropped like 3 bills on groceries. I hate that ingrained sense of panic I have from being Poor As Fuck. 300 dollars *heart attack* I hafta say though...that new Simply Apple apple juice aint no joke. That stuff is the best thing Ive put in my mouth. If D edited for adult content Simply Apple, hed have a chaffed edited for adult content.

Annnnnyway. We called the cab. Waited. Waited. Waited. We waited for a motherfucking HOUR. Then the cab shows up. And he smells like he may have been drinking...With another passenger.....so our 300$ worth of groceries can't go in the trunk. WTF. So we pile them up, juice and stuff all under our legs....worried sick that our frozen shit is no longer frozen....and the cabbie drives all the fuck out to east killeen. Now I have to say...my stomach was pissed off. Not puking sick....bubbly in the butt sick. That hollow feeling deep in your bowels that burbles up and says "Hey Bitch! get your ass to a bathroom!" See I hadnt been going so much since I hadnt eaten hardly in the last week. And then I drank a buttload of powerade. And then I walked all over walmart. And stirred up my tummy.

Now I had dropped a few bombs Bush might have approved of in walmart waiting for the cab. Id giggle madly waiting for D to realize the source of my amusement. and then hed look at me like Id grown a third head and whisper "wtf are you rotting in there???" Well....we get to the old womans house all the fuck over there and I get that feeling that says You need to poo NOW.

My asscheeks have not had a workout like that in years. I clenched my cheeks together fervently praying that drunken overzealous edited for adult content didn't damage my sphincter. I promised God to start using the stairmaster. Every bump between there and home I thought, no...I KNEW it was all over. I imagined the worst. Liquid shit all over the cab. The cabbie staring at me in horror. D staring at me in horror. I kept picturing the girls in SWAP.AVI, and knew I would share their fate(the covered in shit part, not the eating it) I pictured that girl from GoldCup, the stripper who miscalculated a fart and shat on her customer...And I knew in that moment that every single person would know if I shit my pants. How many girls in killeen have skulls and roses on their chests? I wished I had worn a tshirt so I could remain anonymous in my shame.

Alas the poo poo gods answered my prayers and we arrived, poo-free at home. I ran for the door, not even stopping to explain to D why I had to get inside.

Relief.

I have never known such relief. I feel very humbled.

7 Facts. A Tag.

2010-01-12T20:43:00.006-06:00

So My favorite new zany broad over at http://lillianfunnyface.blogspot.com had a round about tag, and passed on said roundabout tag. Seeing as how I am seething with rage, but slowly being soother by the loving arms of the Champagne of Beers(you have to pronounce it Cham-PAG-knee, or it isnt as totally white trash and fun)I figured that today needed some fun. So here are 7 completely random facts about me.

1. When I blogged on myspace, I had two posts that got over a thousand hits in less than 4 days. I was pregnant with Warrick and both were about poop. ("The Butt Baby", and "How Lyn nearly shit her pants in a cab" for those who remember them) I STILL have people referencing those posts and it is 2 years later. If you are lucky (or unlucky depending on how you look at it) I might attempt to dig them up and re-post them seeing as how insanely popular they were.

2. My favorite cheese is Havarti. I have an inordinate affection for that cheese. Monterrey Jack comes in second, but doesnt come close to my dreamy creamy Havarti.

3. While most people assume that I listen to mostly obscure bands in the punk/rock/industrial/electro genre....I fucking love Snoop Dogg. And Justin Timberlake. And Britney Spears. And Lady Gaga. Yes, I do love me some off the beaten track music....but I just cant give up the pop. This fact is a two-parter...I also love Delta Blues. The sound of slide guitar playing just taps right into my soul and electrifies me. I <3 Mississippi Fred Macdowell. If you dont know who he is... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fred_McDowell look into it. Look up "I do not play no rock and roll" on youtube and watch for the one with the record. Then listen past the talking to the guitar. Ohhh man. Its Aural Sex. I promise.

4. I was a cheerleader for several years. I even did competitions and have quite a few 1st place trophies. I had to give it up after I was involved in a nasty nasty car accident, sprained the entire length of my spine, severe whiplash and had to go to intense rehabilitation for a few years. My back is still jacked up, but I know that I can take all a TENS machine can hand out and then some. I really really wish I had my own TENS cause my back is in a right huff right now.

5. I didnt get into crafting until I was 21. Then I started carrying bungee cords and rope with me everywhere in case I found some furniture on the side of the road I could redo. It was all down hill from there.

6. I have an extra rib on the left side. It lays directly on top of the very bottom one, so it sticks out. I can hook my fingers under it to gross people out. I was very self conscious about it until I grew a rack to hide it...to this day, if I get under 140 pounds...it sticks out all freaky like and you can see under it. When I was 10, I convinced my entire class I was an alien. For 6 months.

7. I think camel toes are hilarious. No really I cant help but giggle my ass off when I see one. How do you not know that your lady parts are devouring your pants?!?

Id apologize for offending anyone, but honestly its all in good fun....so neener neener neener.

Oh....and again, I tag you ALL. or not. w/e. Its fun.

Wrath. RAGE. Angry thoughts. ARG!

2010-01-12T20:00:00.002-06:00

Yes...after last friday's go-round with my bank, I thought things were settled. (friday I spent an hour on the phone arguing back and forth over charges from a company who I had cancelled my account with, yet got charged....again. And got hit with NSF fees from the bank because of it...while chasing my dog up and down the block for 30 minutes of that time...in the cold.) I had all that settled, monies returned, etc.

Today at 4, I checked my account to make sure I had money to go buy things like...baby wipes! (and a few other things). I just got back from the store, with JUST wipes. Yes, thats right...declined. Um wtf. Nevermind that I had checked my account not 3 hours earlier...declined. Not even 15 bucks. I had a 5$ winning scratch off, so I was able to get the wipes, but not the other things. I did however have the added bonus of getting the New Guy. The guy who didnt know how to cancel things. And I had a line behind me...watching me get declined for 15$. He had to suspend that transaction and take care of the people behind me so his manager could get out of the crapper and fix it. If my childhood had left me any capability of being humiliated, I would have been.

My lesson from this was always carry cash.

Now onto the second part of The Rage....

I go home and attempt to log into my online banking. Suddenly my pin doesnt work. I reset it. Doesnt work. Oh what in the name of bleeding pussy bullshit nonsense is this?

Being a piddly po-dunk bank, in the middle of a piddly po-dunk state, they dont have a 24 hour help line. I get to wait until tomorrow to find out why I am suddenly not allowed in my account. Fucking AWESOME.

Up until this week, I have not had a single problem with my bank. I have had this account for over a year and have always received the best customer service I could possibly want. Seriously, I have a small business selling um naughty things at parties to military wives and got burnt on 2 bad checks totaling over 600$, putting me waaaaay into the hole. They understood, worked with me and waited for the 5 days while I waited on the girls who burnt me to pay me cash, then drive to deposit it. Fricking phenomenal service. Plus, my checking account gets the sweet 5.25% interest rate monthly. Rad eh? But not right now. Right now I am filled with rage and terrible thoughts.

Why do I adore Lash Stiletto?

2010-01-12T15:38:00.000-06:00

I figured I have rambled about my absolute adoration of Maybelline Lash Stiletto enough that I would go ahead and show why. My lashes are pale and stick straight. They arent overly short, or long, or skimpy or lush. They are run of the mill lashes. 90% of mascaras I have tried tend to clump them up, or the formula sucks...or the brush is huge and gets everywhere, or yanno? I like the stiletto brush because while it can be rough feeling, it tugs them up, and when I twirl the wand away from my lid while I bring it up, it curls my lashes without some midevil torture device lookin thingy. Sorry for the crappy lighting. My camera sucks.

Soo...

My nekkid straight pale lashes.

One coat.

2 coats. See? Curled, black, noticeable. NOT clumpy. I havent found another mascara that does that for me. I love that damn brush...and the formula. A few people have said that it smells oddly, and it does till it dries. But I dont give a crap, so long as my lashes look nice they can smell odd while wet. Also I have never had a problem with flaking or smudging either.

Now...for your dose of omgcute...My son and his new object of adoration.

Say it with me now....

AWWWW!!!!

Gage's First Fight.

2010-01-12T09:05:00.000-06:00

Let me state from the get go....I do not approve of violence, or fighting. I have been in many fistfights, but I do not provoke them.

Ok that said...

At the bus stop this morning, I was at my usual spot, about 50 yards from the actual bus shelter. Our bus stop is for all of the kids in the neighborhood that go to the actual on post schools. So there are generally about 30 or so kids, and the parents. The kids stay in and around the shelter,(there is a field behind it they play in) and the parents generally stay off to the side, in view of the shelter and field, but not at the shelter because the kids like to play. There has NEVER been a fight there so long as I have been going.

So the gals and I were doing our usual morning chatfest when some adult starts yelling FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT....which the kids immediately started chanting. Gotta love maturity eh? Now I looked for Gage's bright orange hoodie, but assumed it wasnt him as he is not prone to violence. One of the women was on the side of the shelter that the fight happened (its an open shelter, but there is a slight obstructed view) and grabbed both boys by the hoods and dragged them over. Seeing it WAS Gage, I had a friend watch Warrick in his stroller and ran over. Gage was crying and very upset, and the other boy who was MUCH bigger had a VERY obvious swelling red mark right below his eye. Gage told me the boy had punched him in the stomach, and started hitting him, so he hit him back and started swinging like crazy....

According to the boy's mother, he is autistic and will hit without provocation, and she was very sorry.

Now...I understand that autistic children have issues, but if your child is autistic and prone to violent outbursts, why do you not keep him close?? I would probably have been VERY upset if Gage hadnt have managed to hold his own against the kid, but seriously...this kid outweighed him by a good 25 or 30 pounds and was several inches taller. Gage is a tiny kid, (4th percentile on height and weight) and is VERY friendly. He is known as the kid who everyone loves. He is outgoing, intelligent, weirdly hilarious, polite as hell, and does not hit, ever. The other mothers are always going on and on about what a good kid he is, they were as shocked as I was that he had been involved in a fight.

I did tell Gage that hitting is not appropriate, and that if someone hits him, to find an adult and tell them....but I am VERY glad to see that if he has to, he can defend himself. The poor kiddo was so upset though, he couldnt understand why the boy did that. GAH....what a way to start the day eh?

Dear Painted Floozies.

2010-01-11T17:54:00.000-06:00

It has come to my attention that all of you hussies are gorgeous. WTF. Please have an off day because you are making me look terrible. I havent showered in two days, My hair hasnt been out of a messy ponytail in a week, and thanks to the laundry....I have been sweating like a whore in church all day, despite the cold, cold cold cold weather. I have also just created the worlds longest run-on sentence. Suck on that bitches! Its the little things that keep me going.

Hmm too much caffeine methinks. Im kidding, I love you skanks <3

(yes I have time to update, I can update with the little one awake...I cannot shower though. and his nap time has been erratic at best BOOO)

Shaking from too much Red Bull,
Lynny

Me Vs. Laundry; the never ending struggle

2010-01-11T09:50:00.001-06:00

Today kiddies, I am going to attempt the impossible. I am going to try and attempt to do ALl of the laundry, and have it folded and put away.

I know some of you are thinking "Gee Lynny, why is laundry such a problem?"

Well, Ill tell you. My husband is in the military.

"And the problem is....??"

Well...Aside from the fact that I have 2 kids (pjs X's 2, clothes X's 2, gage school uni= 5 sets of kids clothes) and my own Pjs and clothes (which brings the outfit total to 6 outfits) The military does this thing called "pt", which means every morning he busts ass doing physical training. That equals 1 set of shorts+shirt and socks and underwear and in the winter pants and sweatshirt. Then he has to come home, shower and get into his uniform, which is another set of socks and underwear, and an undershirt and a uniform. Then he comes home in the evening and wears his civilian clothes, which means another set of socks and underwear. That is 3-4 sets of clothes by himself which means I have a total of 10 full outfits to wash a day. This means that no matter how many loads of laundry I do, it is always there. It never gets any smaller.

I think laundry is the bane of my existence.

Today I will ATTEMPT to wash the small mountain of laundry, and get it all put away in the hopes that maybe my dear family will actually use the labeled hampers I have. (yes I do have 8 hampers, each labeled "army shit, whites, darks, colors, towels, jeans, etc") But they dont get used because for some reason...my family thinks this would be far too easy for me.

Now should this mountain of laundry be conquered, I will get around to an actual post today. One maybe involving swatches or some sort of craft. I hope. Unless the laundry eats my soul and I become a mindless drone-slave to it and my brain doesnt comprehend anything other than bleach, hot water, gentle cycle, cold wash hand wash OWWW IT HURTS!

Also last night I FINALLY watched Serenity. Please dont kill me, for I knew not what I missed. Now I have to find the Firefly and watch the series and then be sad when it ends after just a few seasons. BOOO. You can all suck my butt because I hate getting into a series I know has no conclusion. If you want to be upset, go watch Carnivale. I <3 that series but it too....has no end.

Happy 101 Tag

2010-01-10T15:28:00.000-06:00

I got tagged by the lovely Heather over at http://eyeconicmakeup.blogspot.com a few days ago. Ive been on the lazy side this weekend, laying about the couch with the hubbers and kiddos and neglecting my poor sad little bloggy.

So what makes me happy?

1. My family. Sure they drive me nuts and ensure that I dont get to shower daily, or sleep that often, but I love em. There is nothing better than watching D and the little ones playing light sabers. The fact that my five year old knows more Star Wars jargon than I do is hilariously awesome and shows that we are raising us some good little Jedis' (dont mind the messy room, thats christmas wrapping damnit!)

2. Cooking a big fancy meal, then watching to be devoured. I couldnt ever cook, then after watching Alton Brown for a few years and his ability to make the seemingly insane cooking procedures make sense with science....I flung myself in headfirst. I got a stand mixer for Christmas and hooted merrily over my breadhook. Then I made Focaccia.

3. Crafting. This goes back to that making stuff thing. I LOVE making pretty things. D knows better than to take me to Hobby Lobby. His wallet will lose everytime. I love to make hats, and wigs, and hair, and clothes, and furniture, and and and....

4. Books. Ever get so engulfed into a book that the world around you starts to seem a bit fuzzy and you start relating things to things in the book and people look at you like you maybe ate some bad mushrooms? Ever dream about your books but youre the main character? Yeah. Im a nerd. I love to read. I used to hide book sunder my desk in grade school. I was the only kid I knew who got in trouble FOR reading. Mind expansion is great.

5. Playing dress up and Girly Make Up Picture Party! Like I said, I have kiddos so I dont get to go out that often. I used to be quite the little club kid. Getting to dress up and relive those days is nice.

6. Corsets. REAL corsets. Im obsessed and addicted and I dont give a crap. I love having my waist to hip to boobie ration looking like a cartoon character. Its awesome.

7. Fake hair. My hair sucks, its stick straight and refuses to curl. How else am I going to get a head full of dreads one minute, and a curly adorabley cute lolita purpley look the next? eh? eh? Fake hair.

8. Cutesy skull crap. Cant help it, my tormented 14 year old inner goth girl demands them. WITH BOWS. I squee on the inside. (sometimes on the outside toooo)

9. Orthodox Catholic Art. Particularly Russian Orthodox, Hispanic-Catholic and really really Old Catholic art. Am I catholic? Nope. Is it pretty and inspiring, hells yes.

10. This one is a toss up of my favorite things, like zombies and alcohol and cupcakes with pink sugar crystals. Show me a picture of a zombie with a cute bow drinking a beer and eating a pink sugary cupcake and I will squee till I pass out and the zombie eats my brains.

Im supposed to tag people now, but I say screw it. If you want to be tagged, then do it! If not...dont! But favorite things are fun to learn about. So I suggest you do.

Hidden Treasure

2010-01-09T19:21:00.000-06:00

Before I get to the tag, I have to mention something that happened. Yesterday thinking we had friends coming over, I decided to go ahead and throw on makeup. After the third time I put on foundation + primer and washed it off (I went through my regular bare minerals, and two liquids) and my skin was STILL so flakey it was disgusting, I gave up and decided to try and put on moisturizer. Keep in mind my skin is both unbelievably oily AND dry, I generally avoid moisturizer at all costs because it breaks me out like mad. In my warpaint box I discovered something I hadnt touched since I got it. Well...I didnt buy it, it was free with my Bare Minerals starter kit. It said it was "Bare Escentuals Bare Vitamins Skin Rev-er Up-er" It smelled awful and it felt odd so I had never once bothered with it. But yesterday it was a do-or-die (ok not die, but look jacked the eff up) so I put it on, then put my primer over it, and on went my normal powder foundation. And I looked....normal. Hells yeah!

Now we wound up not having people over, and I spent a good hour or so arguing with the bank and an internet company who had charged my card (which was NOT authorized)and got the charges reversed (huzzah for ME) and chasing our dog Cthulhu down the road for a half an hour in the freezing cold I didnt actually get to take a picture. In fact the Hubbers and I watched tv and fell asleep on the couch really early and didnt get to bed until 1am. I washed my face quickly (not thoroughly) and prayed for the best.

This morning I got up and realized a few things. I wasnt broken out, I wasnt oilier than a bucket of chicken, and my skin felt and looked like 3283528201 times better than it had. Wondering if the Rev-er Up-er was the culprit I had a little experiment. I didnt wash my face. My face didnt get oily at ALL. I just now washed my face (and applied more Rev-er Up-er!) and havent broken out at all. Its insane. I looked up reviews online and it is getting mixed reviews. About half the women love it to death, and half hate it with a fiery passion. I am leaning towards loving it to death. IT TAMED THE GREASIEGHOULIES. My skin has been so not greasy that even my husband noticed...and he doesnt notice ANYTHING. Now I am going to resevre judgement until Ive been using it for a week (though Im pretty excited already) and then Ill post pictures from the DOOM and pictures without makeup for a comparison.

Now I have been tagged, but I am going to wait until tomorrow for that because the kids are in bed and Id like a cuddle with the Hubs.

Louisiana Brain freeze

2010-01-08T13:25:00.000-06:00

Ive been a bit quiet, I promise Im not giving up like so many bloggers. I am simply feeling a bit crabby and overwhelmed. It has been frigidly cold for louisiana and this means I have been walking the daily bus stop jaunts in the cold. The bus stop is 1/2 mile away, so I walk about 2 miles a day (both kids annoyed as hell!) in the cold and wind. This morning it was 17 degrees, 84% humidity which made it felt...I dont know ass numbingly cold. Im not making that up, My ass was literally numb. My face too! Warrick hangs out in the stroller wrapped in my furriest leopard blanket, so hes good if not annoyed. Gage complains the entire time and I feel bad...he isnt used to it. It sucks being a one car household.

Today Ive been beating back a migraine...my normally obnoxiously dark living room suddenly was bright and painful. Then D came home for lunch and I got a text from a friend asking what we were doing tonight. I figured....nothing...the usual. I asked him, expecting the generic "cant we just relax/we cant do anything/I wanna watch tv" that I always get. But he told me that we were having people over tonight for drinks.

Doesnt it just figure that the one time I feel shitty and would rather not have people over, he decides to be social. Had I not gotten the text I wouldnt even have KNOWN. *sigh*

Oh well, It gives me an excuse to actually put on some makeup, so I may have a LOTD for you kiddies. Heck...I think Im gonna bust out the reddish eyeshadow I mixed up the other day.

Im feeling a little duped....

2010-01-07T10:39:00.000-06:00

Yesterday in my mixing frenzy I started to notice just how many repackages I had. At first I thought the only ones that were repackaged were my Mineralista "skittles" and my LimeCrime "siren". Oh how I was wrong. I hadnt actually gone through many of my indie jars that often. My TSS ones just arent that great, and my Mad minerals one are a bit on the light side...so things dont get used as often as they should. Anyway...This is what Ive come up with based on swatches online, TKB images and such.

LimeCrime Siren= TKB Hot Mama
Mineralista Skittles= TKB Pop collection
Mineralista Oz= TKB Blackstar Green
Mineralista Bruised= TKB Blackstar Red
Mineralista Black Eye= TKB Blackstar Blue
Mineralista Pewter= TKB Antique Silver
Mineralista Black Out= TKB Carbon Black
Jesse's Girl Mardi Gras= TKB Capricorn Sea
She Space Far too Fabulous & Voluntary Mayhem= TKB Saphire Mica (yes...they swatch identically)

Aside from that, I have a random sample from a company I forget which is Blackstar Green. I suspect perhaps that She Space's "Acidic Reign" may be TKB Aquarius. I also discovered that one of my TSS samples (of which the name has worn off) and my Medusa's Make up in Magma are identical. Which also happen to look just like TKB Colorona Russet.

Now...I cant say definately that these are 100% repackages (aside from the LC and mineralistas)until I make my TKB order and can swatch. Though the TSS sample and MM Magma are identical, and TSS's Voluntary Mayhem and Far Too Fabulous swatch the same. VM and FTF make me wonder if someone didnt mix up a bag though, the pictures on the website look very different.

But yeah. BOOOO. I really wish I had known.

Oh Perfect Red...where are you?

2010-01-06T20:30:00.000-06:00

I have been hunting again, and I believe I must have Crucible Red from TKB. Anyone have any swatches?

Also...damn you kids in the UK. I want that effing Sleek palette in Sunset. BUT ONLY FOR THE RED. Ok the whole palette is gorgeous but the red.... Anyone have that palette, dislike the red and want to pop it off for me? *bats lashes*

*sigh*

Bored Lyn= Play Time!

2010-01-06T18:03:00.000-06:00

I was painfully bored today and lately Ive been quite taken with the idea of ordering a massive amount of TKB soon. The idea of blending my own colors appeals mightily. I have been on a quest to find the perfect shade of deep crimson red for years and years. Every red is either too orange or too light or too pink...

So today I played...and played and played with all the repackaged mica's I have (and now I am even more excited for the repackaged ones that I won from the haiku contest at http://legothique.com :) As it turns out, I like blending shades almost as much as wearing them. I went to the bus stop to pick up Gage covered from my elbows down in color....The only poo thing was I dont have any sort of bases to make them stick better without a primer. But I will....oh I will....

Anyway so here is what I did today.

I wound up with seven new shades and had no where to put them...so I wound up grabbing a ziplock bag and cutting it into tiny sizes and sealing them with a lighter LOL. I believe I may have a new craft I am addicted to. GAH.

What are your Default Colors?

2010-01-05T13:28:00.005-06:00

What eye shadows do you find yourself constantly reaching for?
I have an entire box full of makeup. Eye shadows out the wazoo, and I know my collection is very small compared to many women...but I do know we each have our Default Color Scheme. The same few eye shadows that we reach for over and over. The ones we know that no matter how much time you have to get ready, wont let you down. Im always curious about other girls' defaults...

So here are mine.

I loves greens and blues and teals...but my eyes are bluey-greeny-aqua-grey color morphing which means I have a very hard time wearing colors in those families without washing out my eyes because it tries to adopt the same color as the shadow Im wearing... However I have two defaults I love in that family.

Urban Decay Deluxe in Graffiti: Graffiti was my very first high end eye shadow ever.....and the beginning of an addiction. Before Graffiti I didnt know you could get vibrant colors. Hell I hadnt ever had an eye shadow that blended easily! My Graffiti case is old...the dome cap is long gone and the insides are broken, but I still go back to it for pops of color. Unfortunately by itself Graffiti does wash the living hell out of my eyes. Paired with other colors though...not bad at all.

Urban Decay's Shattered: This is the only blue-greeny shadow I have that doesnt wash out my eyes. In fact, my eyes will morph to match it exactly and looks amazing. I dont really have a picture of this effect, but I will work on that. If I need to look nice,it does that. If Im going for a little pin-up white trash look you cant go wrong with this paired with some thick flicked liner and bright red or pink lips.

Urban Decay Matte in Perversion: It is supposed to be matte black, but is more of a charcoal. It blends well and is the ultimate "smokey eye" shade. It is almost always in my crease.

Maybelline in Pink Sands: This was my first ever eye shadow. My Mom bought it for her wedding, and I nicked it. It is the color I am wearing under my brow probably 99% of the time. Ive been through 3 or 4 of these in the last 8 years. Im sure there are 329353292 dupes for this shade, but I <3 it. It is actually swatched in the picture, but Ill be damned if I saw it when I was putting on the names(and misspelling Graffiti hah) and I wrote over it. Its a very pale pearly pinkish white.

Medusa's Make-up in Red Baron: In my quest for the perfect crimson red eyeshadow(not unsimilar to my quest for the perfect matte red lipstick) I bought Red Baron (along with others) last year. I thought it would be a true red...but it is not. It is instead the most vibrant hot pink ever. It is OMFG pink. For some reason hot pinks and reds make my eyes pop (per the color wheel it is supposed to be oranges and golds and coppers...but my skin color cant handle it) This one is the best of the pinks. It pairs well with damn near anything, and Red Baron in the crease is something I know will always work.

My top two Defaults?

Lorac-AfterParty On the swatch it doesnt show how insanely neat this color is. The picture above shows it better. It is black as sin with a deep crimson shimmer. It makes a perfect smokey eye with a twist. It also appeals directly to my inner Rob Zombie and Trent Reznor obsessed 15 year old goth girl. The formula is like cashmere, and it pairs obnoxiously well with my #1 Default....

Urban Decay's Deluxe in FreakShow: FreakShow was released this summer and I was in instant and immediate lust. FreakShow is my ultimate, My Holy Grail, My very favorite EVAR. Forget the fact that it comes in the Deluxe cute dome case with Zombie Lovers holding hands that I am considering having tattooed somewhere...The swatch doesnt do it justice. It is holy fuck me purple with a deep red shimmer. Used gently it is a wash of color that is gorgeous with my eyes. Foil it and zomg. The swatches at the top were not put on over UDPP. The left is dry with a q-tip, and the right is with a damp q-tip. It is THAT well pigmented. I use it in the crease, I use it all over, I use it as eyeliner.....on Halloween I used it to contour for a sexy dead girl look. If Urban Decay announced they were getting rid of FreakShow, I would sob like a child and start a campaign and get signatures and stockpile it. I would run out and buy as many as I could afford(and maybe some I couldnt afford) so that I would never be without it. If some girl got the last FreakShow, I would Falcon Punch her until she gave it up. The rest of my defaults could possibly have dupes (more than likely actually) but I have never ever seen a shade like this. Even if I could find a dupe, I wouldnt bother...Why mess with my perfect shade? It is gorgeous, it has an amazing texture, it blends well, it can be used lightly or heavily and the case is effing cute. I <3 FreakShow.

FreakShow and AfterParty

Dead girls can be sexy with FreakShow.

I am thinking about having a Default colors contest...with FreakShow (obviously) as the first prize. I feel I need to spread the love.

So....What are YOUR Default Colors?

What the fudge?

2010-01-05T10:57:00.001-06:00

Everytime I add a link, it doesnt show up unless I type it instead of use the add link thing. So copy paste kiddies.

Grey: http://legothique.com
Ana: http://lipsticksandlightsabers.com
Fyrinnae: http://fyrinnae.com

Resistance is Futile.

2010-01-05T10:27:00.002-06:00

Well....I tried to wait. I really did, our tax return is only 4 or 5 weeks away and yet I couldnt resist. Between Grey and Ana and their damnabley gorgeous swatches...and their raving about the Pixie Epoxy and the Arcane and the "you have to see it in person because pictures cant do it justice"'s....I couldnt help myself. I kept going back to the Fyrinnae website and staring.

I absolutely love that they show their own swatches on colors. Not having to flip back and forth between the site and someone's swatches really helped, although I sincerly believe it is a devious plot to get us to order more. My basket had over 30 items. Luckily the basket system is also awesome....they show the product name and what it looks like next to it. It made whittling down my list just the tiniest bit easier. Other websites drive me to insanity with just names, or maybe in some cases, numbers. I didnt have to keep 8364529 tabs open on my browser to make the choices....or dump the whole cart and start over. I swore I wouldnt spend more than 15$, but then I discovered that shipping is free on any purchases over 20. So...I could order x amount and pay shipping, or x amount and not pay shipping and get extra shadows. Whats a girl to do? You already know.

The thing is...D and I decided to wait on our Christmas exchange with each other, and our Anniversary exchange (Dec 29th) and My birthday (Jan 26th) until our tax return arrived. Meaning we blew our wad on the boys for Christmas and are fairly broke for the next month...

My justification for this purchase is that I didnt buy anything full sized, I had been a patient girl till now, and um I won 50$ on a scratch off ticket the other day. Oh...and I gave up my redbull habit for the time being. And I made 50 Christmas stockings for the FRG. And I fed 10 adults on Thanksgiving and 6 were single soldiers who didnt have anywhere to eat and were lonely. See? Im a good girl, I deserve Fyrinnae...

Ok ok...Im weak willed. Ill admit. The wait time listed on the page is 16-18 days, not including weekends. That puts my order's arrival at around Jan 29th, so I may not even have my pretties before my birthday.

What did I order?
Avenging Salem
Biker Chic
Digital Faerie
Equality
Robot Takeover
Shinigami
Still Breathing
Wicked
Arcane Magic:Sorceress
Arcane Magic: Mystic
Arcane Magic: Dragonmagic
Pixie Epoxy

Yep...I tried to not order so many dark shades as I am prone to do...but what can i say? At heart my favorite look is still a bit gothy. There is nothing that makes my eyes pop out and say LOOK AT MEEEEEE like dark shadows. I think later I will swatch some of my very favorite eye shadows...

Squealin' like a teenybopper at a Robert Pattinson sighting!

2010-01-04T23:07:00.003-06:00

Paramount has found a new director for its remake of the sci-fi classic Dune, after Peter Berg dropped off the project in October. The studio has hired Taken helmer Pierre Morel to oversee the movie. Paramount is currently looking for a new writer to incorporate Morel’s vision of the project into the original draft by Quantum of Solace scribe Josh Zetumer. Morel plans to make a very faithful adaptation of the 1965 book by Frank Herbert. The movie is a high priority for Paramount’s production chief Adam Goodman. Kevin Misher and Richard Rubinstein are producing.

Eeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!

Im sorry but my internal bookworm just had an OMGasm.

*adjusts glasses and stops hyperventilating*

whew....ok. (no really Gage was very nearly named Atriedes) I have both the original Dune (extended cut FTW) and the scifi Dune2000/Children....which was surprisingly good. Still, am very excited to see how the newest version will turn out. Honestly I would LOVE to see this done in the 3D way that so many movies are doing right now. (meaning it looks 3d to me, not blue and red and blurry)

I wanna see Shai Hulud all up in my FACE.

Ok....ok bedtime.

Mad Hatter, or how I nearly ended it all with a glue gun.

2010-01-04T15:49:00.004-06:00

So following this mornings annoyance I gathered my crafting supplies and waited till Warrick's naptime. 10:30 came and I put him down, then I went to my little table and started to work. Less than 2 seconds later the hubby shows up early for lunch. I had a super fun time playing "OMFG where the hell is that smell coming from" and there had been two culprits....the trashcan had a fine "eau du baby's ass" smell going, so out went the trash. Then....a new smell. Fuck. I hate this game. I finally followed my nose to the sink, which surprised me because there werent too many dishes....just the ones from last night. I moved the few plates to the other side of the sink and was nearly knocked off my feet by the remnants of a bowl of Menudo that my darling D had eaten. Menudo smells like poop to me anyways, but menudo that has sat about in the sink all night is apparently the worst combination of cow manure and rot you could imagine. Dishes done, and the sink run through with plenty of dish soap to ensure the funk didnt percolate in the garbage disposal, and D back to work....I sat down yet again to hat making.....

Which is when Warrick pitched a fit. He normally takes a good 2 hour nap everyday....but not today, oh no. So I brought him back down and into his corral and again....sat down.

What you'll need:
Glue sticks
Heavy weight poster stock
Cardboard
Fabric scraps
Hot glue gun and plenty of ammo
Scissors
Decorative things

First you will cut your poster board in half. Then figure out the rough shape you are going for.

Then fold it from the basic hat shape, this is your template.

Now unfold and on the other part of the posterboard you cut, trace and cut out.

Now glue that sumbitch together.....dont worry about sticky uppy parts yet...

Flip it over and use a pen or marker around the inside to get the shape of the top.

Pop it in and make sure it fits, the carefully mark around the edge to know what to cut off.

Trim it up!

Now use your cardboard top to make a posterboard top. Why bother? Well...cardboard gets weird and bumpy, poster board doesnt....but you need strength too ^.^

Set that aside and get your fabric out...

Now...this si when I realized that BOTH of my glue sticks had completely dried out. FUCK. Fuck fuck fuck. *breathes*

So I grabbed liquid glue.....DO NOT USE LIQUID GLUE. Why? Youll see in a few.
What you should do is apply a light even layer of gluestick to the posterboard and one section at a time smooth i tout so there are no lumps or air bubbles. I wound up remaking the whole fricking thing 3 times before I managed to not screw it up with the liquid glue. GRRRR

Now go ahead and make small snips all the way on the top and the bottom, this is so it doesnt bunch up and look dumb. Then with the hot glue....glue it to the inside and try to not glue yourself to it. Which I did. I has blisters.

Now glue your posterboard top to your cardboard top, then gluestick your frabric to the top and wrap around and glue the fabric with hot glue...

Tada! Now this is a part that pisses me off. The smaller your hat is, the more you will curse. You cant get your glue gun inside the hat. so carefully run a bead of glue all around the inside of the top and stick your top in carefully trying to not get glue everywhere, or burn yourself, or get your top stuck in incorrectly. Work quickly.

Kinda looks like a hat now eh? Now...aroudn this time I had to change a diaper, make lunch for the kids, and well....try to not stomp on my tiny hat.

Next....cut a smaller strip of posterboard to reinforce the inside. On larger hats I always use cardboard, but this hat is so small I cant. BOOO.

Twirl it up and glue inside the hat.

Now cut out a rough brim shape and in the middle cut it up like so. I double up on the posterboard for the brim btw.

Now....you will cut out probably 8 zillion of these because you will try and make it even and not have hinky edges...dont worry..it happens. Now go ahead and using the gluestick....glue fabric to both sides, cut the hole in the middle to match the posterboard and do your best on the edges. Depending on your fabric you will either be very successful...or you will attempt to kill yourself with a gluegun....like I did. This hat was originally for the Lady Grey over at http://legothique.com but seeing as how full of fail this one is...Ill be making another one.

I tried to edge it with ribbon, but again....smaller hats only want to devour your soul, and so nothing works right on them. Oddly enough this works just fine on larger hats.

Oh the fail...

So I made another brim, cursing and weeping and listening to cartoons and animalstic noises coming from my children, who I beleieve may have gone feral in the short time I was working on this. and by short time....I mean it was already two-fucking-thirty.

Now...take your brim and your hat....run a whole lot of hot glue along the inside of the hat, pop the brim on and fold up the pointy bits into the glue quickly. Try not to lose too much skin.

Roll up some small bit of poster board and cardboard and glue them inside as well....just because it is made of paper products does not mean it has to be weak. Then grab all your scraps of fabric and stuff it, then take a ball of fabric and glue inside like a pincushion. On larger hats this isnt needed, you can even make a false top with more fabric and cardboard and it will be fancy lookin.

Now you can attach this to a clip, or a small metal comb dealy, or even a headband. You can decorate it with whatever your little heart so desires. I didnt decorate this one. Im considering setting it on fire.

Larger hats take considerably less time, and are easier to make in general....though a bitch to mount on anything. Cute mini top hats can run you anywhere from 5 bucks to 200 bucks. I dont understand that myself, but I like making my own. Its personal and you get the satisfaction of telling people who ask that you made it your damn self. You will know that you gained blisters and have mass amounts of patience (sorta)....

Now if you dont happen to have patience, or want blisters or the insane urge to put the glue gun in your eye and end it all, I do actually make custom hats from time to time. I would never charge 200 for a hat either....well....not unless you requested that it be encrusted with thousands of individually placed crystals, then I might shoot my eyeball beams of death at you. But here are a couple hats I have made...

and my personal favorite I made for a photoshoot...(see....I CAN actually put on makeup too lol)

Now....go forth and make hats. I am going to go rock back and forth in a corner and then try to go find gluesticks and decent fabric that I dont want to set afire.

Curse you school!

2010-01-04T07:36:00.003-06:00

So I got up this morning at the buttcrack of dawn, I eagerly filled the kid's tub with nice hot water and woke Gage up. He bathed and got into his uniform, I woke Warrick up and got him changed and into his warm clothes, packed him into the stroller with a nice fuzzy blanket... I got Gage into his jacket and hat and off we went to the bus stop. It was pretty damn chilly out for Louisiana, and quiet. Too quiet. WAY too quiet. Generally this time of morning in our neighboorhood is full of mothers hollering at their kids to hurry up and just get dressed, or kids whining because they dont want to go to school, or they dont want to wear a jacket, or they....yanno?

Dead quiet.

We walk the half mile to the bus stop without seeing anyone...which is about when I realize, maybe I didnt actually read the school dates right. Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuckity FUCK!

We walk the half mile back and Gage whines the whole way because he used used to the half mile, but not the full mile. We get into the house and I look at the schedule and sure enough it says "Christmas holiday Dec 16th-Jan2nd" Ok so that means he goes back today on mon the 4th right?

Nope.

I looked below that and saw "Teacher Conferences Jan 4th", and below that "Students return Jan 5th"

DAMNIT. Wouldnt it have been easier to put down "Christmas holiday Dec 16th-Jan 4th"?? Apparently not. So today instead of my happy and much anticipated return to our normal schedule....the one that involves a 2 hour stretch of time all to myself in the early afternoon, I get to deal with cranky boy, who very much WANTED to go back to school. Booooo.

Never fear though, I promised a top hat making tut, and I shall indeed do this if it kills me. It wont, but it will make it a bit more hectic...

Maybelline Lash Stiletto Voluptuous Mascara?!?

2010-01-03T15:36:00.005-06:00

I have seen pictures of this product, but cannot find it anywhere. Maybelline's website has no mention of this new mascara that I must own.

I havent mentioned this yet, but Lash Stiletto is my very favorite mascara. It yanks my lashes up, curls em, and holds the curl....without ever touching a dreaded eyelash curler. That and the price really cant be beat, its 5 bucks at wallyworld. So when I heard about this NEW stiletto.....one that makes lashes all long AND fatty? It has a twisty brush and a slightly tweaked formula....well, um, LYNNY WANT. LYNNY WANT NOW! Where can I get this? Who has the goods damnit!?!

Also....the DOOM has nearly passed thanks to the ingenious scrublet. The swelling is gone, the redness is gone (except directly around the last few eruptions) and Im guessing that within a day or so it wont be noticeable. The areas that werent DOOM-y are actually looking pretty flippin nice. The pores are definitely less noticeable, and the skin is smoother. Oh Scrublet! How I love thee <3

Cheap, Fast and Easy....just how I like it!

2010-01-03T11:41:00.003-06:00

Since I cannot do a top hat tutorial until tomorrow (when the oldest goes back to school)I figured I would post my favorite hair bow.

What you need:
Hair clip. (I buy bags of these at the craft store for a buck or two)
Ribbon
Cute Patch (mine came in a bag of 12 from wallyworld)
Hot glue.

Howd I do that?
Make a bow with your ribbon.
Glue to hair clip.
Glue patch to bow.
Wait for glue to cool.
Flaunt your cuteness.

Seriously though, I made that hair bow for less than 2 bucks in less than 5 minutes. I could have sewn the bow to the clip....but I made it before running out the door. Stores like Hot Topic sell things just like this for 5-10$, why waste your monies when you can just do it your damn self?

Apocalipstick.

2010-01-03T09:33:00.003-06:00

I have a hard time finding the right lipstick. Things always seem to make me look a bit clowny...I am on the constant quest to find the perfect matte red lipstick...I love me some gloss though.

I love Nyx lipsticks, who doesnt? This year I plan on buying many many more. I really want to go for more opaque and even pastel shades. I want to broaden my collection...I might always be hunting for the true red, but I ought to have fun damnit!

The Buxom glosses are really sparkly without being teenybopper glittery. My only issue is that these bad boys are the stickiest gloss I have ever used. If its windy, your hair WILL be plastered to your face, and good luck getting it off too.

My #1 gloss of all time is Sally Hansen Lip Inflation in Sheer Blush. I love love LOVE it. It is the most flattering shade of peachy pink I have ever used...and used I have. For a long time this was the only gloss in my bag. I dont even know how many times Ive replaced it...also while I may not need plumping in the lip department, it plumps em just enough to smooth out fine lines. I have the clear inflation too...I put it on while Im doing my makeup, wipe it off and then use lipstick. No lines, no nothing. <3 I am also particularly fond of my Nyx-Plush Red.

Child Rearin'

2010-01-03T08:45:00.002-06:00

My oldest son Gage(5) just told Warrick(16 mos) that if he didnt quit trying to take his video game, he would throw him into a Sarlacc Pit.

Rambling.

2010-01-03T00:27:00.003-06:00

It seems every blog I come across lately has had their New Year/End of the Year break down of their fave/least face products, or resolutions. As a new blogger I am pretty sure that no one actually gives a big ole hairy rats ass what I think is awesome. (cept for me!...and you too mom....cause I know you are there!)

As for resolutions...I resolve to try to not use so many ellipses. Which is bull corn because I will always use them. They fully express the actual thought and speech patterns I use. (and parentheses!!) For those who know me well.....you already know that I swing from half stuttering to dippity dumbshit to hyper chipmunk speech in just a few minutes.

Yep...so maybe Ill just yammer on cause I do it sooooo very well. I think first I might mention swatches. I love swatches. I LIVE for swatches. I live in the middle of nowhere, the nearest sephora is well over 2 hours away... And its a dinky little kiosk or two in a department store at that. I have always been obsessed with reading reviews, and when I realized that you could find swatches of makeup...well I about tinkled my drawers. I dont know how many times I ordered from a website, giddy as all hell waiting for my expensive box to arrive....then opening it and trying that new shadow (Urban Decay Heat& Gash Im lookin at YOU) and realizing it doesnt look a blessed mother effing thing like the picture. Or maybe it does in the pan....but not on you. Even foiled over primer. and given a ritual prayer....

I now scour the internet everytime I decide to order new makeup. Did it burn through someone's retina, does it flat out suck donkey balls? Im not sure how many beauty blogger's blogs I stalked before realizing that I need to quit being such an arse and share the love. Maybe I have shades that havent been swatched (haha INORITE?) or maybe the picture is just different enough to convince someone that they are making the right choice, Or save them that extra couple of bucks (seriously heat and gash, you still make me sad everytime I see you)

My War Paint box.

2010-01-02T17:32:00.003-06:00

I figure it will take me a good bit to swatch my way through this, Plus monday I am going to do a Mini-TopHat making tutorial. Fun stuff!

PapaLou thinks he can has makeups!

War Paint <3

Sassy

2010-01-02T17:08:00.006-06:00

Ive promised the gals over at the DM board that I would swatch my sample haul from before Christmas...and I suck! Anyway I took these in natural light, they are swatched with a damp q-tip. The top row is over UDPP and the bottom is over SheSpace Blackout primer with the exception of the last two because I ran out of room. I really wish the picture had come out better because the sparkle that these have is just something wicked to see.

Zombies ate My face.

2010-01-02T13:32:00.006-06:00

I was at a loss of where to begin this adventure, sure I have a metric butt ton of makeup I could start swatching and whatnot...and I will. But the powers that be have made things very clear....or not clear.

As in my face. I made a massive boo-boo on New Year's Eve and fell asleep in my makeup. Yesterday morning I got up, washed my face but apparently didnt really SEE it. Im very hesitant to post a picture of my face right now, but I feel I have to to get the point accross. I have very sensitive skin. I break out at the drop of a hat and it is a pain in my tooshy on a regular basis. As a teenager I never broke out, hell I didnt have problems with my skin until I got off of Depo Provera back in Nov'06. I had been on Depo for about 2 years and had no problems with my skin, I got off and within a month or two I started having issues. Then I started having massive issues. Basically for the last 3 years I have been battling horrible acne.

How horrible?

That horrible.

Yes, that is me looking like I went 3 rounds with a meth addled zombie. Over Thanksgiving I had a similar breakout only I had one gnarly swollen beasty under my left eye....I had several of the single soldiers in D's (my husband) unit over to eat with us and one actually asked how I got such a nasty black eye. Being a smartass I told him that D had to tell me twice. They looked a bit nervous till I started laughing...(Im a smart ass, I cant help it...it was funny damnit!)

In any case I dont normally break out this badly, in fact my skin usually looks pretty good from a distance. To sooth my vanity, here is a normal picture!

Ok Im getting to the point, I swear!

So it was clear(Oh the Irony.)to me that I ought to post about facial cleansers. I have a bunch, I try new ones all the time in search of that one product that might magically make the Acne of Doom go away. Plus I just bought something new and oh so awesome...

Shall we?

Wandering around the "the mall" as they call walmart around here, I saw a neat little display of cleansers with these little weird thingies on them. I love weird little thingies!

It is called Loreal Go Clean360, they have a few different flavors with the same little doohickies... which are apparently called Scrublets. You cant really see the nubblies, but there are nubblies made of soft silicony material. It has a little suckercup on the back so you can pop it onto the shower wall or a mirror, but it also has a little nook built into the bottle to store it. Flippin handy! I bought the Deep Exfoliating flavor, which sadly...not so good. It isnt bad but its a pretty generic exfoliating face wash. But that Scrublet is just fantastic! Ive been using it with my other facial products and you really can see and feel a difference.(in the areas that arent inflamed and angry)Its very gentle and seems to work waaaaay better than fingers alone. Huzzah! So while I wont be using the wash, the scrublet is worth the 7 bucks.

So what else have I tried lately?

Neutrogena Oil-free Acne Stress Control Power-Foam wash- Helluva name eh? I love the foam, it gets in and dissolves my oily issues quickly and rinses clear. It has Salicylic Acid, which honestly doesnt work for me, and "skin soothers" like Green Tea and Cucumber which "actively reduces redness and irritation". Now unless I am in the full Acne of Doom Thrall....it usually helps with my redness. I stay very red around the old honker, and get blotchy when I break out and this helps with that. It is somewhat drying though, definitely not for people with dry skin...but I live in Louisiana so the heat and humidity make my greasyghoulies a million times worse. I generally spend around 6 bucks for this, which is nice.

PanOxyl 10% Benzoyl Peroxide Acne Foaming wash- I use this only in times of severe DOOM. Its pretty hardcore. It dries the everliving crap out of my face, but it helps back off the greaseyghoulies. It doesnt foam at all, it smells oddly and if you use it outside of the shower it will bleach your roots and towels....which stinks because I shower in the morning, but I like to use this before bed. I generally have to dunk my head in the sink and swirl to avoid blonde roots and splotched towels. Im sure it has lightened my eyebrows as well...However it does help in times of DOOM. Its 10$, but considering I dont use it everyday I dont mind.

Phisoderm Nurturing Facial Polish- At first I was turned off by the texture, its very odd. It says

Gentle exfoliates and renews skin for a balanced complexion. pH balance is essential to maintaining clear, healthy skin. New pHisoderm Nurturing Facial polish contains a polysaccharide moisturizer as well as an essential vitamin hydrating complex that will leave skin healthy and radiant. The smaller microbeads exfoliate so gently that you can use it every day. Infused with Vitamins A, C and E, pHisoderm Nurturing Facial polish purifies skin and leaves it nourished and feeling fresh after every use. Vitamin A: Improves skin's elasticity and reduces the appearance of wrinkles. Vitamin C: promotes skin cell renewal and collagen formation. Vitamin E: An important antioxidant, enhances the protective function of skin and minimizes lipid loss.

Now the microbeads feel a bit rough, even scratchy....but doesnt leave any marks or redness. I also disliked the weird feeling it left on my skin afterwards. It isnt sticky, but slightly textured if that makes any sense. I dont care anymore though because it is great, it seems to improve skintone and made it look a bit softer and youngish. I really need to order more of this stuff, living in the BoonySticks makes things hard to find if it isnt at walmart or walgreens, so I will probably spend more on the shipping than the actual product which runs about 7 bucks. Booo.

Olay Regenerist Microdermabrasion & Peel System- This is a two step dealy that I use once or twice a month to slough off the old nasties. Its rough feeling and almost immediately your face will turn bright effing red and stay that way for an hour or so. BUT...your face will be as smooth as a baby's buttcrack. It is supposed to help diminish fine lines and wrinkles and all sorts of other goodness, but honestly I use it to get rid of yucky dead skin so my pores dont get all DOOM-y. Even though my skin is oily it is also very flakey. I was just blessed I guess...anyway it gets rid of the flakies too. That means my make up goes on smoother and doesnt highlight areas of dryness. Huzzah! This is usually about 26$ depending on where you go, but it lasts me a good several months and it rocks.

Murad Clarifying Mask- This product pissed me off. It isnt bad-bad....but it is not worth the 40 frigging dollars I dropped on it. It is a 4.0% sulfur acne treatment, so it smells a bit like an old fart in a warm room. Hot! I keep trying it, hoping it will suddenly be worth the 40$ somehow and it never is. Its kinda like any other clay mask, only stinky. It also leaves my skin looking a bit orange peel-ish. Bah!

Clean&Clear Morning Burst Shine Control Facial Scrub- eh...its face wash. It doesnt exfoliate, it doesnt control shine, it doesnt wake me up. Not badly priced at 4 or 5$, but I wouldnt buy it again.

Olay Regenerist Deep Hydrating Mousse Cleanser- This is another annoying product. It was 12$, so for me it was on the spendy side....but it said so many nice things on the bottle! It is suposed to have amino peptides and a dermal hydrator complex. It has Aquacurrent science! Fancy eh? I was told that my face is oily because it is dry....so if I moisturize....I wont produce as much oil. I call bullshit. First off this doesnt even feel like it cleaned anything at all. My face felt greasier after I used it than it did before. WTF! I got out of the shower looking like I had rolled my face in a bag of french fries...even after re-washing and rinsing for what felt like forever. I wound up using D's bar of Ivory to get rid of the funk. Peptides be damned.

Mayhem you say?

2010-01-01T15:24:00.001-06:00

Im a Space Cadet.

I figure it is best to just go ahead and admit it now lest you figure it out later and shake your finger at me over the internet.

See Ive been blogging on myspace (yes, I know) for years and people seem to enjoy it. Ive been encouraged by many to go ahead and start an actual blog, which seems terribly self centered.....but its not a twitter account so there may be hope for me yet. The problem is...what to blog about? I can almost hear my friends shouting in the background "make up! talk about makeup you asshat!!"

However there are a great many blogs about makeup, wonderful fantastic gals who are doing a dandy job. Also...that Space Cadet thing. I really dont think I can commit to one topic. I like makeup and zombies and cupcakes and sewing and crafting and kids and Making with the Witty and Cthulhu and alcohol and tattoos and and and and and.....

So yeah. Fuck picking a topic. This blog is a crapshoot of weird, random, crafty, make-upy, goodness. If you are looking for a gal with a one track mind you had best keep going.

Future posts shall include:

*Tutorials on hat making and zany hair and diy clothing.
*Make up Reviews and Swatches.
*Odd stories.
*Various rants about things.
*Cussing like a sailor.
*Weird ass contests (with equally weird prizes!)
*Things I think are frickin awesome.
*Funny shit.
*Stories about my insane offspring.
*Me being obnoxious.
*Recipes(for DISASTER!)
So there ya have it. I think tomorrow I shall do a bit of swatchy swatchy and haberdashery.

Your Leader in Mayhem, Lynny